hello again...

I feel like I've been holding my breath for months now, how about you? 

One and two felt endless.
Three through seven have flown by, and now...
I wonder if, or how, I can even find the normal that was. 

My county has renewed the mask mandate until April 2021. I'm not against the masks, in fact, we're trying to have as much fun with them as possible. But as long as I was living month to month, I felt ok {although is that really living?} and now, with a six month outlook, what are we to do? I can feel the anxiety slipping back in, grasping hold of my heart. Six months...  how do I not plan for six months? Or do I just make the plans anyway, and move on... masked? 

We have been as careful as we can be, all out in the workforce, making the best of every day. Sometimes that means take-out curled up on the couch, just us, and other times we venture out to our favorite winery, where we know they are taking precautions seriously, and have a double date night. And sometimes... it is all too much, and all too little, and more than I can really fathom. 

So that normal... the one that was? It had its good and bad. The good? Fun, friends, adventure. The bad? Busy, hurried... and just because. What I'd really like to do is find a happy medium. Because the good of right now has a lot going for it {besides all of the house projects we've ticked off the list!} Time, quiet, purpose, rest, and yes... joy.

Today I'm taking the day to wrestle with this unrest... and tomorrow, maybe I'll find a new way to breathe. 

life lately {the march 2020 edition}

March feels like it was a lifetime ago... but in reality, it's only not been March for 43 days, despite reports that April lasted five years. We had some fun, and life took an unprecedented turn. And still... we had fun, making it where we could.

1. Jenn joined the 50 club with Eric, and after months of wondering how to celebrate,
she chose an elegant dinner party. It was a such a beautiful celebration,
and we were honored to help plan and execute the party. A night to remember!

2. I had all but forgotten we took a little road trip the first weekend in March...
and here I am, jokingly showing off my soapy hands at Disney Springs. 

3. The actual destination of our get-away was Wild Florida,
where Eric has been wanting to visit for years. The timing was right, and our
adventure even included an airboat ride!

4. One week later we were shopping for some food, just in case...

5. And decided to brave it all and go to the county fair
the one night it was open, to show our support.

6. I've been working from home since March 17th.

7. A little takeout from our favorite craft beer place. It's such a fun place for us,
and we hope to be able to support it any way we can!
For now, it's growlers and an extravagant tip.

8. Cam had a job interview, and he has waved goodbye to Target
and is working for our county in the water lab. 

9. Oh the walks... everyday after working remotely we needed to get out and breathe.
Jenn & I walked miles and miles until they had to finally close the trail.
The neighborhood streets just don't compare. 

the lenten letters

Some of my zoo days are my best days. The conversations that happen around the table, amidst peanuts, palm fronds, and paint splattered everything, always leave me smiling. Sometimes it's all out laughter, and other days it is downright holy.

Ash Wednesday, after I was lamenting our King Cake debacle, the talk turned to Lent and forty days and did you have any plans to navigate those days? Terrie shared her plan and I was already in love with it before she finished describing it. Forty letters, to forty people, in forty days. Letter to say... you mean the world to me, I love you, you are important to me. When was the last time you received mail like that? 

When I got home that afternoon, I gathered my supplies together {note cards, envelopes, stamps} and made the list. And then I started writing, and my daily trips to the mailbox became a prayer walk. Did I miss a few days? Yes. Did I play catch-up? Yes. Did I finish in time? No. But I kept on going.

In my own little bubble, I sent out these messages to the people I love and let them know. What I did not expect was that there would be a return. Over the next weeks, often a text would pop into my phone. I just received the kindest note. This is a keeper. I love you, too. I needed this today. While I might have imagined a friend opening the note, and smiling, I hadn't thought that far... and I didn't expect to be so blessed in return. And it was beautiful.

I'm not sure why I was so surprised, because isn't that just like God, to pile on the blessings...

in the stillness

Sometimes I need to be reminded that sweat is not the only reason to go for a walk, and perhaps the reason to follow the beckoning of the tree line, backlit with the pink promise of sunrise, is simply to breathe.

In maybe the stillest May I can ever remember, I find myself having to slow down even more, which honestly seems like a cruel reverse. Last week I was chasing the 15 minute mile, and this week, trying to hold off the bronchitis, the medicine combo has stopped that race in its tracks.

But this morning, I needed to get out and center my soul. A slow steady stroll. Cool morning air, which has been glorious after the early spring heat. The birds singing their song under the moon, still standing watch over the cul de sacs for just a few more minutes.

And then there was that promise.

All worship. Be still and know, indeed.