I was drifting in and out of sleep this morning when I heard the rain. A great whooshing sound that I have not heard for months on end... it woke me with a start... and then I woke again as I realized it was the 21st. An anniversary that I have not been dwelling on since I have turned the page... my heart has seemed at peace this April... perhaps healing just a bit more. But two years has passed. Two years since I have heard a friend's laughter and seen the joy light in her eyes. I miss her... I miss Lisa. She is never far from my mind... I still see someone at the store and think for a moment that it might be her... I still glance back at her house when I am in her neighborhood... though it lies empty.
The other day I pulled out the little memorial card from my purse, where it has lived, next to my sticky note. And I read it. No author is listed, but the sentiment on the card was so beautiful...
I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one, I'd like to leave an afterglow of smiles when day is done. I'd like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways, of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days. I'd like the tears of those who grieve to dry before the sun, of happy memories that I leave behind when day is done.
I smiled as I read it... and realized... I might be ready for that... I might be ready to see that afterglow that has been hanging all around me. And as I tucked the little card back into it's spot, and clipped it safely into place, I felt a bit of peace. I said another prayer for her family... and thanked God for the privilege of laughing beside my friend.