life lately... the christmas edition

If December is my favorite {and it is}, Christmas is the cherry on top of the most delicious sundae, making it picture perfect. I worked hard to be prepared for the season... wanting to leave time to just enjoy the beauty. Laura's gifts were off to Colorado in plenty of time, and I finished up my shopping at the gift card kiosk at the grocery store. I was just about ready for Christmas when I felt the first signs of bronchitis in my chest - I just had a little baking I wanted to do. I was finally ready to try my hand at some gluten-free cookies for the one I love. I pushed myself until I couldn't... and then slept through the three days before Christmas Eve. But there was no way I was missing out on the most fun day of the entire year - I would rise to the occasion! 1. Christmas enrichment for the animals at the zoo! I love this time of year! 

At one point I mentioned to my boss that sometimes companies come to
volunteer at the zoo - and she loved the idea so much
that we turned it into our Christmas party.
I loved sharing my zoo job {and my Mom!} with my co-workers!

2. I made the gluten-free gingerbread cookies the Monday before Christmas,
and finally decorated them the day after. I was pleased with the taste and texture -
and Eric was thrilled! A few days later I attempted a thumbprint cookie and it was delicious!

3. This little guy hawks his newspaper every December, faithfully. He is one of my favorite
 Village People... reminding me of Newsies. The Christmas village brings me so much joy...

4. He sang A Soldier's King in church. His voice goes straight to my heart.

5. The tree! We purchased a new one in October, I set it up to check the lights...
and I've been enjoying it ever since. It might come down this weekend...
but I'm not making any promises.

6. Christmas Eve! I made it and the day was full of fun and laughter.
We waited for Camden to finish work before we started the saran wrap ball -
but that may have been a mistake! He really got lucky and every time it was his turn
he seemed to unroll a few layers, while some of us couldn't even find an end...

7. It is perhaps my favorite gift.
Eric loves to find something special for the three of us -
and these ice cream cone blankets are as soft as they are adorable.
Cozied up with my Mom & sister made the moment perfect. 

8. Christmas Legos. May there never be a Christmas without them...

9. Laura stayed in Colorado for the holidays, and while I missed her being here,
I was thankful she was invited to Eric's cousin's house.
She had a blast, and Erica sent me some photos during the day.
That smile on her face made it all okay for me. 

I hope your holidays were magical and full of light!

moving slowly into the new...

My mornings are still beginning by tree-light...the golden glow that reminds me of Christmas magic. I'm just not a January kind of girl - I'd rather linger in beautiful December. The majority of the world is starting fresh & clean with motivation I could only dream of, and my weary soul still seems to need the twinkling lights of promise and hope. It took me five days just to turn the page on my calendar, and my heart longer still... but I'm getting there.

Pretty soon I'll be bringing in the boxes and packing away the Christmas treasures, but for now, we are moving ahead one day at a time, readjusting to this quiet life.

worth the royal wait...

I must have asked him five times to give me a Christmas list... he is past the age of being wooed by every toy commercial on TV and we didn't have the first idea of what to get him.  Finally, just a couple of weeks before Christmas, he made a list.  Some of the things were downright ridiculous, but that was not unexpected... it had happened before {ex...a penguin.}  And other things on the list?  I had to ask what???  Good thing his uncle knew what he was talking about.

Thursday, after fifty disappointing trips to the mailbox, and just eleven weeks after it was ordered, Camden's Sealand shirt arrived.  Where he even heard of this "country" is beyond me... but clearly, he does love it. From the "Royal Mail" postage seal, to the shirt itself, he could hardly contain himself!  You, too, could love Sealand... or even become a Countess!  For a price... and eleven weeks to wait.

the days of december...

I have passed and failed December... caught the moments and and enjoyed savoring them, but have failed to share them, or document them with words.  As I look back through the beautiful days of this month, the memories come back, fresh to my soul.  December may come humble, but oh she sparkles with glory as the days are filled with light!

I hope to go back and tell some stories... relive some of the beautiful.
There is so much stored in this heart.

what remains...

I was almost out the door when I felt one of those nudges... so I turned back, gathered up a small gift, and headed back out.  It seemed funny to be going to the doctor for a physical, when I had been there every week for almost three months for bronchitis.  I was glad she knew I was coming for a well visit though, and when I was standing on the scale, she walked by, tapped my arm and smiled.  I am so thankful for this doctor who takes time, who listens, and even laughs along with me {because oh laughter is so much better than tears!}

Before we got too far into the appointment, I passed her the little drawstring bag and shyly wished her a Merry Christmas.  Surprised and smiling, she asked if she could open it...

Carefully, she untied the bow, and tumbled out the first few pieces.  Her mouth made an "O" and she began lining them up, one by one.  As she drew out each remaining piece she squealed with delight and her eyes filled with tears.  My kids will love this, it will be part of our family tradition!  She confessed to having several other sets, each one so loved... and I know, because I have, perhaps, too many of my own to count.

When each piece of this little nativity was lined across the counter, she shared that she really wanted her kids to know that this is what Christmas is all about.  I'm glad this truth is growing, because when the magic of Santa has faded, Jesus is still shining bright, and Christmas is still a celebration of love and life.

I love Santa.  I love, and believe in, the spirit of Santa... the giving and the surprises and the traditions.  This year we will once again set out cookies and milk... because I want my too-grown-kids to hold on to the believing.  And who couldn't use a bit of magic in this season?  But this story... this baby who came to save the world, He is the focus of our days, our waiting...

She picked up that little baby Jesus again for one more look before tucking her small treasures away, and it made me smile.  I was thankful for not second-guessing that God-nudge.  Thankful, for passing along a piece of my heart... the part that shines and loves like Jesus.

**and while I am really posting this for the story and what it meant to me, there are a few sets left...**

surely the presence...

Last Thursday we crossed the finish line of a marathon week.  Extra band practices. A parade. Work. Weary. Laura on her way home by bus. And a band concert.  I was thankful that my parents agreed to get Laura, especially when we found out the bus was late.  When I finally put my feet up after the concert, I took a breath, thankful for the weekend, and only four more work days until Christmas vacation.  And then I noticed a beautiful box under the undecorated Christmas tree. Cam reported that it had just been outside when he got home... and that it was twelve days of Christmas, for us.

The past few years I have been quietly delivering advent gifts to friends.  The very first year I was so touched by the reaction of my friend... she said it carried her through the season.  The next year I tied up little packages for Ann, because... well, I think I knew.  And last year, I tried to surprise Suz, but she knew the gifts were from me almost before they were dropped off.  Though I've been stashing little gifts all year for this December, God laid something different on my heart.  As a family, we chose two other families to surprise... one who especially needs the love and care this year.  It has been a joy to do this together, so much fun to see the excitement on my own kids faces as they leap back in the car so we can make a quick get-a-way!

Once I opened the beautiful box under the tree, I had to correct Cam.  It was for me.  And isn't it just like my sweet friend to out-do me at my own game!!!  Everything is tied up in beautiful ribbon, and her cards make me laugh out loud... just as if we were sitting across the table from each other.  Today I even spotted a bonus in the bottom of the box... and that she labeled it such?  More laughter...

I know Christmas is not really about the presents... but when they are given in love, sweetly and unselfishly, the presence of God draws near.  It wraps around our hearts, stirs our spirit, and prompts us to keep on giving.

Today when we dropped off one of our secret gifts, to this family that is aching like I cannot fathom, there was a gift waiting for us.  The card simply said you have touched our hearts.  I am thanking God for the gentle nudge to follow through... to share just a little bit of Him in this season of Love.

it is all coming together...

We finally put ornaments on the tree yesterday.  After church, and between a late birthday lunch, a nap and a trip to Outdoor World.  When Eric went out to get the boxes, and asked what else?  I said that's it.  I hoped that the stockings were in the top of one of the ornament boxes, and was relieved when they were. Just for fun, he dug down into the next box, to see if there was something easy to bring out... and he pulled out our tree top angel.  I thanked  God for the easy find, and was reminded that He takes care of even the smallest details.

I accomplished much this weekend.  Some organizing of gifts, wrapping, and creating the short list of things left to do.  Laundry, picking up around the house... and we even had time for family fun.  I feel like the to-do's of Christmas are all coming together, and I'm thankful to not be racing or stressing.  Because I just want the beautiful...

I've been preparing my heart for this season for months instead of weeks... and it feels right.  The video devotions we watched with our youth group introduced me to Joseph and Mary in a different light, and when I hear a song about them, { here, and here } my heart aches and opens in a whole new, wonderful way. Sitting by candlelight and reading The Greatest Gift, I find myself gasping and nodding... pieces coming together to create this beautiful portrait of all this season and this life is about.  And even in the sanctuary, running through the Sunday School dress rehearsal again,  where everything is loud and kids are rolling on the floor and rounding up their neighboring shepherd with a crook, the smile sneaks in...

It is the story I love, and long to hear, again and again.  Messy. Marvelous.  And so full of Wonder.  Still.

by the light

December comes humbly, last in the line of twelve.  Her days are short of daylight and heavy on weary.  It has been a long year.  And yet... we have waited on her, anticipated her, and we are counting on her joy to carry us through.

We string the twinkle lights, decorating each corner, stretching them as far and high as we can reach.  Their glow seems to possess a magical power, bringing warmth and love to the cold and the dark.  As I stumble into the living room in the wee hours of the morning, my first stop is to light the tree, and weary turns towards joy.

My tree may still be bare of ornaments, but the lights are enough for now, and even just-right for a few minutes of morning reading.  Also enough?  A few nativities here and there, that I moved from one place to another.  The only other decorating I've done is to rearrange the piano top, setting out my nativity hurricanes.  Only... I can't seem to recall where I stowed the nativity rings last year.  But coming home to flickering candles (electric, on a timer) has brought a smile to my face, even without the shepherds praising and the wise men approaching.  Maybe this weekend there will be more...

Oh, December, you may be last, but maybe it is a true case of saving the best for last.  My house may not be decked out and ready, but my heart is open and already full of Christmas joy.  Christmas joy and light.

How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world.

-William Shakespeare

a christmas wish

The world is weary... from the rush of Christmas or the weight of life... and quite possibly both.  The lamp posts are decked with greens, the airwaves are singing the tunes and homes are strung with twinkling lights... and still, I feel like I must sift through it all to find Christmas. 

And under the mess... there it is, shining bright with hope.

In the stacks of shoeboxes, in the overflowing toy drive bins.

In the lay-away angel stories, the leaving of secret gifts and in the hearts of friends.

In the scrawl of a small, sweet girl...

And always, always... in the manger.

My Christmas wish for you... is to feel the presence of that tiny baby, and all it means to your life.  For you to feel His love deep in your soul... and pass it on.  Because no matter what is under the tree, we already have all we need in Him.

Merry Christmas... with love.

i love to hear the story

The choir sang... and the little ones told the story, with a little help from the big ones.

They were dressed in their Christmas finery... feathery angel wings, halos spun with tinsel, gowns & robes tied with cord belts... that, at times, doubled as lassos.  Joseph strayed, shepherds ran laps, and the angels were restless.  And somehow, it was perfect.

It is the story that is made sweeter in its imperfection... whether in Bethlehem, an old school cafeteria or a new shiny church.  The story that is told again and again, and still makes me cry because... it is my story, too.  One that breathes hope and love... and promises gifts beyond our imagination.  It is the story that brings our hearts back to the humble stable... where Love was born.  And if you can't lie down next to the manger, where can you rest?

scenes from a {beautiful} weekend

a fiesta...

and Christmas celebration.

night lights

I am a New England girl, heart and soul. 
I long for the crisp chill of winter, and I dream of white Christmases.  But life and God's plan has me planted in the warmth of Florida...

And nights like this... tell me I am right where I belong.

winter transition

Less than a week into January and the Christmas tree was packed away... must be some kind of record for me.  I know we had our issues, but once I lowered my expectations to realistic, the Christmas tree and I got along just fine, and there might have been a little Christmas magic working, because I even managed to fall just a little in love with that tree.  But he's gone to the mulcher by now... and I'm left with the pile of what was under the tree... stray needles included.  Now... my decorations that shout-Christmas-from-the-rooftops are nestled, once again, in layers of tissue.  And the others?  The snow men, stacked three high... the little town that peers down from the shelf... and the nativities I can't bear to tuck away, well, they have become part of winter. 

Winter is... my decorating loophole. 

My justification to have both peppermint and holly and blue & white with rainbow striped scarves.

My excuse to enjoy just a little longer. 

The tiny white triangles speckled across my floor outnumbered the evergreen needles... but my scissors kept snipping and dancing away with my imagination until there were enough to string across the shelves and hang from the lights.  The only snow I'll see here in Florida...

And all the while, trading red glass for blue, green candles for white, I called myself crazy.  In less than a month I'll be hauling the red back out to mix with the pink for Valentine's Day!  But the lacey white and smiling faces drew me right back in and I couldn't help myself. 

Oh, let the crazy blow in the breeze...

celebrations and survival

We find ourselves on the other side of Christmas... all of the preparation behind us, nothing but a memory. My Christmas tree lights are still twinkling, and I keep wondering if it really has to be over. Yes, our Christmas tree survived, and teaches me again to leave it in God's hands instead of sitting in the worry. Even through the exhaustion, I would celebrate again... because the joy that hung in the air was simply beautiful. The gathering of family, the laughter, the sharing, the food, the smiles, the gifts.

And the way that Jesus was tucked in it all... from the amazing short wait in the waiting room in the urgent care Eric got bit by a friend's dog right before we were headed to celebrate with my family Christmas Eve morning, admiring the nativities, Christmas Eve service complete with candle-light, and a card on Christmas morning... Linus sharing the real meaning of Christmas  right before we dove into the treasures under the tree...

And suddenly there was with the angels a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, goodwill toward men. That's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.

After the long morning, with the adrenaline fading, we all fell to napping while Camden built his Lego sets. Dinner, more cookies... more laughter. And then it is simply... over. But I hang on, leave gifts under the tree, keep the lights burning, the music playing.   It will hit me all at once, and I will be rushing to put it all behind... but even as we prepare for and celebrate Camden's birthday, I find peace in the beauty of Christmas, and surround myself with it.

love wrapped in pretty paper

I do not take my Christmas shopping lightly. I try... to choose the perfect gift for each person on my list. Some years it is a silly gift, and other years it is a bring-you-to-tears gift... but no matter what, I really try to choose with love. But, when it comes to my Mom, I never know which kind of gift I have chosen... until she opens it! After her first trip to Africa, I was almost at a loss at what to get her... not sure that she really needed or wanted one more thing. I finally settled on a Partylite candle holder, with an African theme... and I hoped she would smile and like it. Maybe a lot. Never once did I dream she would break down in a pile of tears over it... or push Baby Jesus right out of the stable and replace Him with the candle holder (that being the only safe spot to have a lit candle amidst flying wrapping paper!) I guess loving Africa will do that to someone! But this year... it was she who made me cry. Over a pan.

I love my pots & pans. Belgique! It is so much fun to say! And even after almost 18 years, they look almost new. Several years ago my Mom came across a great sale... and picked up several pots and pans for herself. Including two sizes that I did not have! After admiring them greatly, I hinted at wanting them... since she had more than one of each! Eventually, she did give me the smaller pot, and it made me smile. But what I really wanted was the 3.5 quart pan. And she had two. Oh you can do so much more with a 3.5 quart than a 2! On many occasions I have tried to sneak one out of her house (most recently Thanksgiving!)... but I am not such a great sneaker... the laughter gives me away every time!

It was the last gift I opened at her house on Christmas Eve... and it may just be a piece of kitchen cookware... but it was given with love. I honestly am still surprised, and overcome that she parted with it... because she probably used it more than I will. But oh, I love it. And I love that she loves me... so much that she would give me something of hers that she loves.

A mother's love for her daughter is the gift I unwrap today... love that came in pretty paper just to make me smile.

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christmas wrap up

Scraps of colored paper still linger... stockings that once hung are now under the tree... more snacks than anyone needs still covering the dining room table... and smiling faces all around.
Christmas was... in a word, beautiful.

There was singing...

and late night preparation in pajamas.

There was the tearing of paper...

and smiles accompanying laughter.

Family and friends. Books and clothes. Legos and toys.
Yes... toys. Because even though they are almost 13 & 16, they still need to play. And even Camden shouted with glee over his Build-a-Bear gift card. That just makes me smile... that my son who is just days away from being a teenager still finds joy in... everything. And my dear Laura made good use of the wrapping paper and took her paper crane folding to a whole new level.

We celebrated with my Mom & Bob on Christmas Eve... the grandchildren had slept over the night before and by the time we got there they were full of stories. Especially talking about how Gramma popped popcorn in a pan on the stove. With no cover. On purpose. (Yeah... my Mom is that kind of Gramma.) The table was decorated with four unique and festive gingerbread houses... and kids were ready to open presents. It was an afternoon of joy, and it was hard to pull myself away for church.   But the singers needed to warm up... and when they sang... my heart swelled.  I hope that someday... they will sing together again.  Because their voices blended together beautifully, and glancing back at my husband and daughter, I all but melted into my chair.  Christmas Day turned out just fine, and I was thankful not to have spent a moment whining about Eric having to work.  He was able to come on home for a few hours and enjoy the opening of gifts... and then headed back out to patrol, stopping back in at lunch time to retreive the ham bone soup he had prepared for the shift. I only felt badly that he did not have a chance to enjoy the Christmas nap!  But the kids & I played and enjoyed the afternoon.  Dinner was a wonderful spread, which we shared with family & friends... and once again, I went out of control with dessert. The making and the eating. 

Counting my blessings... and sitting back to enjoy it all.

christmas gifts

Christmas is a journey. Sometimes the road is not smooth, and we find ourselves stuck in a muddy rut. Or even lost along the way. But Christmas comes, and it doesn't really matter how we got here. As long as in the end, we arrive... awash in the light of the star that shines brightly over the stable. Because there... is the gift of hope and love itself... wrapped up in swaddling cloths, nestled in the sweet smelling hay.

Merry Christmas!

sunday service

Sunday was our church's family Christmas celebration. Choir singing a cantata. Sunday school children in costume. PowerPoint playing in the background. Birthday party for Jesus.
My plan. Simply sit back and enjoy it, while sitting next to my Mom. I was looking forward to seeing all of the pictures scroll in sync with the full sound of the choir supporting the story. That was my plan.
God's plan. I did sit next to my Mom... with Chelsea on my lap. Perched there, she had a dual view of Laura singing in the choir and the photo show. She also had a long list of things to say... There's Laura! Oh! A present. A horse! A Donkey! Baby Jesus? There's Laura! Where's Baby Jesus? There's Camden! Whatsa manger? Having her sweet goodness in my arms reminded me of my own babies who no longer fit on my lap... And then there was Ian. At almost a year, he is as cute as can be... and I could hardly resist grabbing him up from his own Auntie as he played peek-a-boo with me around her head. His full-of-life smile tugged at my heart and reminded me that uncomplicated joy still exists if we let go of our stuff and just live. The music was elegant and lively all at once... and the solos sung by my daughter and my husband? Oh, they took my breath away. To have such courage to stand before the microphone and lift your voice in praise... stunningly beautiful in more than just the sound. Oh yes... and then there was the PowerPoint. I didn't watch too much of it, just enough to let Chelsea know when Laura or Cam's pictures were coming up. What I did watch? The kids, dressed in their costumes, sitting in the rows before me. Their laughter and surprise at their own photos, and the pointing fingers just reaching out in glee. And I watched the parents I could see... their smiles. Their own joy and love for their children expressed with their eyes and tears. Of course... then there was the story. Oh, the story. How many times have I heard it? or told it? And yet today... it was if my heart was hearing it for the first time. I sat there amazed... tears lingering. But when Pastor came and plucked up Ian and reminded us how the Word was made flesh... I could not contain nor hold back the tears. Joyful tears... joyful that Jesus came to the earth.
I cannot imagine why I am surprised that His plan was so much better than mine. And I cannot imagine why I even thought to have a plan. I did not, for one second, think to hold onto my own... I simply let go and fell into His... thankful for each and every precious breath...