March 29, 2017

lost in spring...

Spring blossomed early last week, but I just took down the last of the snowflakes this afternoon. The painted buntings are fluttering around the feeder in the backyard, and I'm still struggling to breathe, still trying to keep with the day to day. I feel better, then I don't... and I'm just tired. Not to mention, tired of being tired - and kind of tired of talking about it. But here, in this little corner of my world, it all spills out.

Last weekend I rested under the trees, dappled with the sunlight that streamed through and warmed my soul. It was glorious to just be still... and not feel the beckoning of the household to-do list.

This is my kind of list...
Feet up? Check.
Enjoy the cool breeze? Check.
Mind wandering here and there and nowhere? Check.
Glorious. And just what I needed.

I thought that this Monday, unlike last Monday and the one before, I could rally myself into feeling great. It's still a work in progress, but isn't everything?

Today I'm armed with a new round of prednisone, and I'm hoping it will be the last... but even if it's not, all is well with my soul.

February 08, 2017

life lately...

I'm trying to keep up with the days and collect the small ordinary moments that make up this beautiful life. I need to remind myself to capture more... because to look back on the little bits brings me joy.

1. We had an early morning breakfast meeting at the beach
and I simply could not NOT put my feet in the sand!

2. I bought my very first "sport" shirt! Now I'm all set in case
I get invited to another "green" basketball game!

3. I ordered Harry Potter house scarves for my kids for November.
They finally arrived last week...apparently on the slow boat from China. Literally.

4. Eric worked a steak cook-off just down the road, so a few of us
went out to eat steak while he stood guard at the ticket line! 

5. I love that every Do the Right Thing program has a theme! The office ladies
even decorate the tables. Now if we could just get them to put Eric's name in the program!

6. We took an outside table on a cold rainy Sunday coffee and a warm blanket (provided on the chair!) were the perfect touches to watch the rain come down.

7. Anytime I can catch a glimpse of Cam on college social media it makes my day!!! That was the second photo of the day (they also posted one of his German class!)  Can you pick him out?

8. February wine club tasting...

9. And I finally put my hands to work with the skein of yarn Camden brought home from Iowa! 
p.s...still looking for Cam? He's the one on the left, side view!

February 07, 2017

friday letters {from last week}...

Dear Suzanne,
I loved that you answered Sure! to a Monday taco lunch! It truly had felt like ages since we had a lunch date, even though I saw you not-too-long-ago. Those salads we had were amazing, and I loved the laughter we shared between bites!  Time with you brings a little extra life to my soul... LOUD life.
Dear Nice Man Two Tables Over,
You were sweet to stop by our table on your way out. I think that you were truly sincere when you shared that our laughter and fun made your lunch more enjoyable. As soon as you walked away we collapsed into more giggles, looked at each other and said We are so loud! 

Dear Eric,
I'm so proud of you... standing up there and being the face of Do The Right Thing! I love being able to attend, to chat with the office ladies, and most of all, support you in all that you do.
I hope your cold passes by soon. You have been pretty well behaved for a sick man, but I have come to the conclusion that I get a lot of my energy from YOU! While it has been nice spending some evenings just resting on the couches, I should have been doing a few things around the house, trying to catch up. Thanks for not making me make your eggs the other night...I was totally sincere in my offer, but I was so happy not to have to make good on it!

Dear Christmas,
Oh how I loved you in all of your twinkling glory... see you again next year!

Yes, I got it put away a full week before my deadline!

February 02, 2017

struggling through the week{s}

Last week there were times I wondered if I'd make it back 'round to the weekend. We had tumbled into Monday totally unprepared... the gas gauge nearing empty, and hardly any food in the fridge, since we never quite made it to Publix. To be fair, I know Eric was suggesting we go after church, but at the time, I didn’t feel like thinking about the week ahead and how to prepare for it.  That was a mistake, and I paid for it all week long. Tuesday felt like Wednesday, and Wednesday surely should have been Thursday... but somehow I actually managed to make it to my haircut on the right day. 

I would have liked a do-over. 

This week, with lesson learned, I started Monday confidently... but... is still hasn't been smooth sailing. There could be a thousand reasons, starting with a heart unsettled, but I'm not giving up. February is here and Suzanne sent me this picture the other night:

Okay New Year... I'll try to keep up. 

January 20, 2017

friday letters...

Dear Blog,
Here we go again. For the past year, or so, the words start to flow, we become reacquainted, and then... nothing. I told us that 2016 would be the year for us, but I was wrong. A few sparse posts here and there, a good concerted effort in August, and then I fell off the bandwagon with fall. I'm not making any promises this time around, I'm just thankful we are back together, and that you are always here just waiting for me.

Dear 2016,
We survived... a lot. Three surgeries, walking away from a job that was making me angry (just this year) and starting a new one where I felt welcome - but so unsure, a year of Cam away at college (and not coming home for much of summer), a fourth National Youth Gathering in the sweltering summer heat of July, and all of the little bits of life happening in between. You weren't my favorite, but in the long line of life, it hardly matters. There was a lot of good, & great mixed in and that is gets us through.

Dear 2017,
Well, I've already let January know she is not my favorite, and after the couple of weeks I've had, I almost I want to swing back around to 2016. Not a great start for a grace-loving girl! Yesterday I had a deep discussion with a friend and we heartily decided that we should put our January exhaustion aside and start our new year on February 1st! I feel like I'd definitely be ready for that...

Dear Time,
Why oh why do I waste you?!?!? I can't promise to stop all together, but as I type out these Friday letters, I'm thinking: how hard is this to sit and let the words spill out?! It's not. And it feels good. I'll be thinking on that....

Dear Friday,
Our relationship has changed, but I still love you. No longer do I look forward to your morning as the start of my weekend, but 4 o'clock? I'll be ready. I promise.


January 19, 2017

her twenty-third

Tuesday she turned twenty-three. We celebrated with a last minute cake baking session, pizza, and grandparents. Earlier in the day her Dad texted her a cute little jingle:
Happy birthday to you,

You work in a zoo!

The animals love you...

And we-e do too!
That was followed up by a text from Camden, just a day ad a half into his German class:
Herzlichen Gluckwunsch zum Geburtstag Laura!

(I'm thinking he's using an app for that!)
I didn't have a cute message, but since I was the first to wish her the happiest of days, I'm hoping that excused me!

She is a busy young lady... working three days at the zoo, three days at the Children's Museum, and occasionally volunteering at our botanical garden teaching origami, since they have an amazing origami exhibit going on right now! The museum job and her volunteer stint this past summer have opened her eyes to a broader life and she is looking forward to new experiences that just might take her on a whole different journey.

We are excited and hopeful to watch her new year unfold...

January 18, 2017

life lately {the new year}

Once upon a time, the year 2000 seemed so far in the future... and here we are in 2017. As my head churns words into my heart, I am feeling the need to catch up, just a little...

1. ringing in 2017 with a poinsettia: champagne & cranberry juice...
i actually stayed awake this year!

2. laura & cam headed off for a weekend adventure: camping and a renaissance faire!

3. and while they were all busy, i made the most of an empty house and threw a winter brunch!

4. in october i started volunteering at the zoo with my mom...
this is a little animal enrichment we made last week!

5. it has been a game playing couple of weeks... we managed
a few rounds of tokaido before camden packed it up to bring it to school. 

6. a night out with friends... always a fun time at wine club!

7. one last hockey game hurrah before...

8. we say goodbye to cam at the airport. faces covered to protect the crazies...

9. her traditional wrapping paper...

January 16, 2017

moving slowly into the new...

My mornings are still beginning by tree-light...the golden glow that reminds me of Christmas magic. I'm just not a January kind of girl - I'd rather linger in beautiful December. The majority of the world is starting fresh & clean with motivation I could only dream of, and my weary soul still seems to need the twinkling lights of promise and hope. It took me five days just to turn the page on my calendar, and my heart longer still... but I'm getting there.

Pretty soon I'll be bringing in the boxes and packing away the Christmas treasures, but for now, we are moving ahead one day at a time, readjusting to this quiet life.

January 14, 2017

there goes my baby...

Another airport goodbye today... and as I keep my eyes glued to his back as he navigates the security line, I pray for him. Baby? Not anymore. Not even close. He celebrated 20 a couple of weeks ago. {Yes, please say it - How is that possible, where has the time gone?!}

It occurs to me that this is just another in a long line of from now on. There will be beautiful reunions filled with as many memories as we can fit in, but the reality of it is, there is always going to be a goodbye on the other end. I raised him up for this, and I knew I would miss him fiercely when he went... but the inevitable just might break me every time. I get by with letting a few stray tears slip down my face, a deep breath, and a thank you to God for holding him close.
p.s.... A thank you to the nice TSA gentleman who told Cam he should give me one more hug. Terence, that was a gift.