April 16, 2014

just you & me

It doesn’t require a special day to express how much I love you… 
every ordinary day is more than special when I am with you.

April 15, 2014

i have to trust her...

I wrote this last week... and I never hit publish because... because it was too close to my heart.  I wondered if I wrote it only for me.  But days have passed, and in the meantime, I've held her close to my heart, had her face in my hands, kissed her and reassured her...

The sun is working to push the clouds away, but for now, the gray heavy air is pressing on my heart. Twenty might as well be thirteen, or six... or two.  Except that there is no way to hold all of her in my arms... especially when she is hours away. She has been studying non-stop, feeling the weight of her world on her shoulders.  I'm not sure she has ever cared about something this much.  It is good... and it is hard.  I am thankful that it matters so much, it is the stress I am not so fond of.  Sunday she texted me that she had a fainting spell... yes, texted.  I would have preferred a phone call... but her texting tells me that she can take it in stride and brush it off.  I have to trust her.  She said she was hydrated, had eaten breakfast, but was under a whole lot of stress.  So I chalk it up to that, and pray for some relief.

But this is when it hits me... the truth that my own Mom shared years ago.  The mothering never stops. Ever. There is no magic age, no crossing over into adulthood, no place in life they can rise to, that will stop the ache in a mama's heart when a daughter doubts, or a son takes a misstep... when their stress is eating them from the inside out.  And maybe the hardest part?  Sitting back and letting it all unfold.  But this, I know... I cannot outlove God.  He loved her first, He loves her best.  For every ounce of love I send her way, He sends a gallon. I pray the prayers, and He is the One who answers.


April 02, 2014

{almost} wordless wednesday

Most of my pictures from spring break are filled with green.
And this?  One of my favorites...

Advice from a tree...

Stand tall and proud... Sink your roots deep into the earth
Be content with your natural beauty... Go out on a limb
Drink plenty of water... Remember your roots
Enjoy the view!


April 01, 2014

when stillness calls...again

I pray the day away... whispering up thanks, asking for healing, covering someone in prayer.  A friend thanks me for being a prayer warrior, but sometimes, lately, I feel more like a prayer-slinger. Life is moving fast, and I can't seem to grab hold, slow it down.  There are days I don't even try. There is no question, it is easier to bob along with the tide than to step out of the current and really live.

But what I lose while I'm bobbing along, desperately praying desperate prayers?  I lose what I need most.  His voice.  Slinging up prayers, one after the other, doesn't leave much time for listening for His voice.

This past week, the list grew long.  Longer than it has in a while.  SO long, that I had to step out, take time, to gather my thoughts and prayers.  Take time, to breathe each and every prayer, and give it, and Him, its due. And I felt His calling... to be still. While you wait in My Presence, I do My best work within you: transforming you by the renewing of your mind. {Jesus Calling, Sarah Young}

I could use some transforming.  I could use some refreshing.  I could use some rest, of body and soul.  Who couldn't?  

So I watch the birds fly in to the feeder, and out again.  They flutter through the trees, and I breathe in His glorious creation, His marvelous colors.  I stretch my legs out across Eric's lap, and laugh when he gives me the look. And when Cam & I cheer over a double hole-in-one, the celebration sends joy through my heart... joy for life, for living... for breathing room.  And I begin... to list my prayers, one by one.  Taking time... to speak love and let Love come back to me.