friday letters

Dear Me,
Please make a note to always keep evaporated milk and chocolate chips on hand.  Always.  Spur of the moment hot fudge is sometimes necessary.  Maybe next time you should make dinner first, but don't worry, I understand...

Dear Laura,
I have loved your texts this week!  And the way you added three "o"s to the "so" before excited.  I am trying hard to not to constantly bug you with my "voice" but I want to hear it all... or read it all.  And yesterday?  When you said you were going with friends?  My heart did a happy dance right there in the doctor's office!

Dear Doctor,
Sorry that I almost laughed when you asked me about steroids.  It is just that yes I have had more than my fair share of experience with them... the shot and the pills.  But I am willing to take them for the next six days.  Beyond that?  I hope not!  {and Suz, beware... you better keep your food far across the table today... because I'm already starving}

Dear Eric,
Well, we did it.  We brought our first off to college.  What a step.  Thank you, for reading my face and knowing that the first apartment just wouldn't do... and thank you, for fixing it.  I am so thankful for you... the laughter we create and the ordinary moments that turn extraordinary when we are us.  It won't be long now, before we are making this journey again... but I couldn't dream of making it with anyone but you...

Dear God,
Thank you for the blessings of the week and the weekend.  You carried us through... and are creating opportunities for our girl that will keep her in the palm of your hand.  Today I ask for extra care of some some very beautiful ladies... rest and a handful of spoons for my weary friend, comfort and assurance for a mama in the waiting room and as she enters the recovery room.  Also, can you find a way to knit a family back together?  Their loss was monumental, and the year has been long.  But maybe with time and the summer breeze, there will be a way...

when the time is right...

About a week ago we had a little Cinco de Mayo party... just family, and friends that might as well be family.   We never want to miss a chance to celebrate Mexican food, and with Laura leaving for Zoo School just three days later, the timing was perfect!  We had more chips than we could possibly consume, tacos, various dips and ice cream sundaes.  You can never go wrong with sundaes, especially if you are partying on a Sunday.  Laura received a few sweet going-away gifts, but always a shining star, Suz outdid them all, and also brought me a gift!  A nice big box of Kleenex, tied up in lime green ribbon.  I almost needed to open that box then and there{because she is always so thoughful!}

But a full week, and many miles later, the box remains sealed.  I kind of expected that it would be, although everyone assured and promised me I would need it.  And not actually needing it?  It could make me feel like a bad mother, but I have decided not to buy into that.  We are all just so excited, and there comes a time when they really are ready to go...

We spent three full days together... getting her there and moving her in.  We decorated, we shopped, and even took a trial spin on the bus, so it might not be so scary when she takes her first solo trip {it would be scary for me, but my girl is far braver...}  We lugged boxes, talked and laughed.  Explored book stores, and loaded up on groceries.  And when it was time, we let her take the lead on our  farewell. 

She decided Friday night, with a Saturday morning option, just in case.  After a stir-fry dinner, and talking her through how she could do it on her own, we said our goodbyes.  Eric pulled her into his arms and held on a little longer than usual.  I took her face in my hands and kissed her with an I love you, and then we left her smiling.  No tears... because we could see a confidence in her that assured us the time was right.

As we made our way home, I though of a million more things I could tell her... but I resisted.   She will figure it out.  Her tool box is full.  Lessons and bits of wisdom, nagging reminders and the echoes of my voice pressing on her to do one thing or another, recipes for favorite dishes and for life itself, and love... so. much. love. 

Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe,
and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.    -A.A. Milne

linking up to richella's grace at home party...

a weary, wonderful monday...

A five day weekend can be too much, and not enough, all at once... and no matter which, weary is the outcome. But facing a Monday with sweet memories tucked into this weary soul, I will make it through... because there is never too much wonderful...

-a long-awaited adventure
-fitting almost everything...
-wrapping my arms around my daughter and assuring her that this is always home
-a scruffy polar bear...pillow and friend
-pink wildflowers along the highway

-spanish moss-draped trees...everywhere
-moving her into God's will
-breathing
-kilwin, kilimanjaro, killroy, kitty-cat, krill...
-books, books, and more books!
-his new hat
-baby iris
-two dreams realized
-someone having faith in your child
-lotsa lime green
-a make-shift window seat

-a date night
-mother's day, early
-her smiling face
-an unopened box of kleenex
-steps in the park

-heated seats
-putting my arms around her one more time
-safety on the road
-making it home in time for band awards
-putting my arms around my son after being away
-tacos
-mother's day, again

-kayaking
-putting my feet in the sand
-watching the coquinas dig

I hope that if your Monday finds you seeking rest, you can re-play some beautiful weekend memories to help you through...

life, lately...

time racing...

There haven't been new words here in a while... and I've left you hanging at the balloon festival.  I will just plead sorry, and promise that part two is coming... sometime.

The words of my heart are moving at a rapid pace, creating a buzz in the center of my chest, racing so quickly that I cannot catch them, I cannot hear them. 

Boxes are piled in the corner of her room, ready to be transferred to the van.  Tonight. It has taken a few to-do lists to get us here, and every time we check something off the list, it reminds us of something else that should be on the it.  I am anxious to pull out of the driveway, and get to the either we have it or we don't part of this journey. 

The next few days will be exciting... in ways that will scare us and bring us joy.  I'm praying for the balance... and that when we kiss her goodbye, there are only smiles...

stepping over the line {part one}

Five of us headed out into the dark morning... off for an adventure.  Marked on my calendar nearly a year, I was so excited to share it with my Mom & Bob, and so happy that Eric & Camden agreed to rise long before the sun. {poor Laura had a math final...ouch}

We were giddy at first sight, and I tried not to run ahead, but I wanted to be there on that field, camera poised, capturing everything.  As we navigated the grounds, sun still yet to rise, I did notice yellow caution tape stretched out... and with only a split second of hesitation, I stepped right over it, making like I knew just where I was going.  And that landed us in just the right place to make the day fly beyond our imagination.  Crew for the Miss Daisy?  Yes. Yes... definitely yes.

 

While the world was still dark and most everyone we knew was fast asleep, any expectations we had slipped into our pockets had fallen by the wayside.  We unravelled and stretched silk, closed petal vents; we worked up a sweat; we smiled, took pictures and laughed.  When the fans started whirring, Miss Daisy came to life... and Camden slipped off his size huge blue sneakers, walked inside with Dan (Mr. Miss Daisy) and helped close the top vents, while Eric & Susan (Mrs. Miss Daisy) worked from the outside.  

 

 

Before too long,  cold air turned hot, and Miss Daisy was standing tall.   Dan called to Eric for ballast, and into the basket he went, listening to every story Dan had tell... for a couple of hours.  I ran out across the field, trying to photograph our work of art, pausing to hold up the lens, and then backing up a little more, and a little more... until finally I could see the whole of her...

 

 

My mom joined me out there, and as we noticed Cam & Grampa wander off, Eric still in the basket, we found ourselves another job.  We pleated a silo, and closed up the roof of the barn... and already, the day was far more than we bargained for, far greater than we hoped.   The sun was on the rise, and although there was fog lying low,  I dared to hope about the weather and finally asked the question will the balloons fly today?  

 

 

 

 

 

to be continued... 

{oh yes, there is more... because what goes up must come down!}

{almost} wordless wednesday

Check back tomorrow for the story behind the JOY on these faces!

a simple list of thankful...

 

-a sunset on an evening that needed a bit of grace

-a city that cooperated, and got the job done

-family... safe

-thinking about a few smiles that i sent in the mail

-a very unlikely surprise in our mail… that offered a bit of breathing room

-one beautiful day, in every way

-holding my dear friend in prayer all weekend as she navigated the emotions of loss and love

-and that she felt the Lord’s presence through it

-April, almost over

-three weeks until zoo school

-stirring up a big bowl of snicker dip… and having it for dinner

you've got a friend...

Friendship isn’t about being inseparable...

it’s about being separated, and knowing nothing will change.

-unknown

-the inbox brings a smile... and notes screech back and forth filled with life and laughter and love.
-she says that texting is the next best thing to passing notes in the hall...
-i type a silly "HI!!!" and i know that it has created at least two smiles.
-ice cream smiles across the screen and i can imagine sitting there in the sunshine
-her call "just to chat" was such a welcome interruption in my evening
-and sometimes a spur of the moment idea works out just right. 

today i'm feeling full... and so thankful for the friends in my life.

yay five!

We celebrate life in fives... five-ten-fifteen-twenty...
If  you count by fives long enough, you fall into that sing-song elementary rhythm that is inescapable.  But when I think five, Rudy Huxtable's voice slips into my head shouting Yay five!  There is just something about that number.  And when my kiddos hit that magic milestone, you can be sure that I was shouting Yay five! as we high five-d and celebated. 

And today, I shout it again, amazed that I have written five posts, let alone five years worth of posts.  I clicked that "create blog" button without a clue that I would have anything to say, that I would enjoy writing again, and especially that I was entering into a community where friends on the other side of this screen are real and true.  My mother was horrified and my husband was suspicious... but God brought the words to my heart, and Beyond Grace won them over in a beautiful way.

Five years ago, I was right where I wanted to be.  Life was grand.  And then things started changing, causing me to stretch and grow beyond that grand little place.  It was hard and sometimes it hurt more than I thought I could bear... and other times, it was more beautiful than I could have possibly dreamed!  I am so thankful that God had more in mind for me!   He has shown me the messy and the beautiful... and that the messy can be beautiful if you change the eyes of your heart.  He has taught me to dance and to dream... that no matter where I am, He'll meet me right there.  And when I wonder if the words will keep coming, I will just remember, with a smile on my face, that God's not done with me yet...

 

Thank you...

for reading my heart and finding something beautiful here. 

click here for a "remember when" post!