the photo...

After a million years {...or maybe twelve} I changed that picture of me over to the right. I'm not sure it is staying, as I do love that shot of my smiling eyes, but for now... it brings a sweet memory to my heart and mind.
: :
Did you ever have $50 burning a hole in your pocket? This fall, due to an airline change, we each had these vouchers. Fifty dollars is not much when you'd like to get away, but I decided to play in the search anyway... and you know what? It was only $45 to fly to Chicago... and only $25 to get back home. Was a weekend in Chicago with a forever friend worth $50? Absolutely. And so... we went.

I love the decadent feeling of a weekend trip... the Friday afternoon quick change, from work to play, and the celebratory cheers while you wait to board. And on this December Friday, our destination was winter. Would there be snow? Probably not. But it didn't make a difference to me because it had been too long since I laughed, in person, with Amy. The plane arrived early and by 9pm Amy was whisking us away from the curb towards our weekend adventure.

We didn't really have grand plans, just one must-do and a few that sounds fun. It was mostly the being away and the being together. We explored the ChristkindlMarket, deserted the crowds for tacos, and admired the holiday windows. Back in her neighborhood there was this little store that beckoned me in... markers and pens might be my love language.

My hands were toting a few treasures around the shop when I noticed the snow start to fall. My squeal of joy led to Eric's warning don't run out of the store with that stuff and so I dropped it all into his hands and bee-lined for the door. 

Two minutes. That's all there was.
Sometimes you really need to just grab the moment and dance in the joy of it, and I'm so glad I did...

the weekends...

Some weekends leave you rested, and other leave you breathless... and honestly, I don't know which I love better.

A quiet Friday night can ooze into a Saturday, where I find myself stretched out on the couch arguing with the day. The sunshine and blue sky call me to play, but there seems to be nothing I want more that to sit in the stillness, and enjoy the view of the beauty. Basking in the warm light, letting the cool breeze waft in seems not a waste at all. My hands may pick up a book or a discarded project, the laundry spins, a sappy t.v. movie calls to us... and maybe we trek down the road for a walk in the woods.

Sunday morning pancakes and a trip to the store, with a little more lazy afternoon rest. Sometimes just us is all we need, and tucking ourselves away from the world feels just right. Monday comes and we are rested, centered for the week.

Last weekend? Breathless.

The clock couldn't find its way to quitting time fast enough, and before six, we had made a wardrobe change and a quick turn around, back out the door, for a party under the lights and stars. What a night! Family and friends. Food and drink. Dancing and lights and fun... all in one of our most favorite places. Saturday afternoon we said yes to a last minute invitation to basketball and an afternoon with friends, because...why not? We knew by the time we were home, we'd still have an hour or so before making good on on our long overdue (three years?) bowling date! We laughed into the night, knowing a bowling league wasn't for us after all - we're much better at wine club. Of course, Sunday afternoon finds us pressing to get ready for the new week, accomplishing all that tasks we had set side to make room for play... but all the while, the happy glow of the days before lingers loud. Monday comes, and we are still reveling in the fun of the weekend.

Breathless or rested? Somehow I think each speaks its own to a life well lived.

red rocks...

While we were in Colorado, we drove out to Red Rocks amphitheater. I loved being out of the city, driving into the foothills, and then seeing the crop of red rocks stand out against the blue sky. Eric immediately said kopjes! and brought us all back to the islands of rocks that stand tall among the grasses of the Serengeti {think Pride Rock in Lion King!}

We wandered the Colorado Music Hall of Fame, and then took to the path that led us up to the amphitheater. My legs immediately began to groan, and I wondered if they were just tiring easily from all the walking we did in the city the day before, or if this was really just the altitude.  Either way, it felt like a climb, just getting to the first row of benches lined up before the stage. We looked up to see at least a hundred people working out on the benches, and I was still trying to just catch my breath. I watched one young lady sprint up the benches, hardly slowing as she neared the top row. It was all I could do to suggest to Cam that we walk up to see the view, I wasn't sure if Eric and Laura would make the attempt.

Eventually, we all arrived at the top rail to look down on the venue... and I while I gulped some water bought at the snack bar, I started regretting my decision to not see a concert here. Lauren Daigle was scheduled to perform the next evening and I would have loved to hear her voice amplify among these red rocks. But... the timing was wrong, and honestly, I didn't know if I could really climb back up here anyway. 

 Yesterday, I caught a clip of Lauren's performance at Red Rocks. Wow... it would have been incredible to hear her sing to the mountains in person.... listening to her sing Rescue just reverberated in my soul.

You are not hidden

There's never been a moment

You were forgotten

You are not hopeless

Though you have been broken

Your innocence stolen

I hear you whisper underneath your breath

I hear your SOS, your SOS

I will send out an army to find you

In the middle of the darkest night

It's true, I will rescue you

There is no distance

That cannot be covered

Over and over

You're not defenseless

I'll be your shelter, I'll be your armor...

To my kids... this song is for you.
You are grown, you are figuring out life as a grown up, and all that it has to offer. The good, the bad, and the really, really hard. But you are going to make it... beautiful. I want you to know though, that we are here... and with everything I have, if you need me...

I will send out an army to find you

In the middle of the darkest night

It's true, I will rescue you

I will never stop marching to reach you

In the middle of the hardest fight

It's true, I will rescue you.

-Lauren Daigle

a dream come true... and so much more

This is one of my favorite pictures of me...

I am at my grandparents, in this sparkly, blue vinyl chair, talking to my Uncle Sonny who lived in Colorado. Even though I only met him a few times, he held a very special place in my heart - and because of that, I have always had the desire to travel to Colorado!

Well, today is the day.
We are getting on a plane, and heading west... and by tonight, I will have my arms around my girl. We are really proud of her and her bravery to step out in the world, time after time.  We are excited to see her in her new life, and we are looking forward to helping her do a little more exploring!

It's a bonus that Camden will be along - and Laura was thrilled to hear he is able to come. And so... just that makes this trip wonderful before we have even headed to the airport. I say it a lot, but it is one of my greatest gifts - the relationship between the two of them. These days, I know that to have the four of us together is a rare gift. One day soon, Cam will be offered a job, and he's likely to head off to parts unknown, much like his sister.

Cheers to my always favorite...four. Together.

the violets...

I was so excited to see Palisades-Kepler State Park in the spring, after our winter visit - and I had unfinished business. As we were leaving, I had spotted a foot bridge way down in a valley, and though we had already hiked a good measure, I really wanted to walk over that bridge. Eric looked at me and said I think we've pushed your lungs far enough, maybe next time. I probably pouted, but held it close to my heart, holding on to next time. {I had hoped that would be the next day but that next day, and the next, was a dreary, rain-filled, blustery day.}

But on this chill-in-the-air spring day, under a sky so blue, I was excited to find that trail with the foot bridge. Nothing was going to stop me! And then I saw the violets...

“My breathe would catch at the sight of violets-so common in the
woods at home, so surprising in the mountains. The violet's message was
"Keep up your courage, stay true to what you believe in." 

― Jessica Stern

Picking violets are one of my most vivid childhood memories. My cousin Jenny & I would sit in her front yard, which seemed a field of violets, creating bouquets of the sweet flowers. I'd then race home, through the sparse stretch of woods between her home and mine, to find a little cup of water to keep my precious bundles bright. I remember my Mom showing me how to arrange the heart-shaped leaves just so around the blooms, to create a ring of green, the perfect frame for the spring-time treasure.

On this day, the violets stopped me in my tracks.
They were so beautiful, and the memories flooded in to bring me right back to my childhood days. We don't have violets in Florida, and it was pure joy to find them. Pure joy! I couldn't resist plucking some of the sweet flowers into a bouquet... my soul was soaring! And when my parents pulled up to join us on our hike, I thrust my little bouquet through the car window, greeting my Mom with the sweet purple flowers of yesterday.

: :

Did we find the footbridge? Yes!

party crashers

She was so excited to finally be having a party!
She told me it had been a year since the last one, and I know it is one my Mom's favorite things to do. We {family} are not often on the guest list, which is always fine... but I got to thinking crazy thoughts.

This weekend my parents would celebrate 35 years of marriage. I love their love, and every day, I am thankful. Thankful that she opened her heart again. Thankful that he saved us. Mom and Bob are absolutely two of the best people I know.  We're lucky and we know it.

34 Years!

But what do you do for the people you love most, who don't need or want for anything? I thought about taking them out for lunch... but Bob would probably insist on paying. Plus, it was getting to be last minute.  My thinking cap was working overtime, and when I came up with a plan too crazy for words... I spoke them anyway. And Eric? He shook his head slightly, and took it in stride, the way he usually does when my eyes grow bright with hope. The next call was... my sister. Are you free tonight? I'll pick you up at 8pm.

We gathered up the last anniversary balloons in town, and drove across town, giddy. I felt like the prize patrol from Publisher's Clearinghouse!

It's getting late... I hope they are still there.
She won't be mad, will she?
Have you ever crashed a party before?
If I move the balloons this way, can you still breathe?

Peeking through the door, we could see that the party was in full force. We took one more photo before we threw open the door and started shouting Happy Anniversary! I could see Bob, who looked up, but hardly missed a beat in his conversation. The party guests looked a little confused, and Mom was around the corner and it seemed like she had to climb over a few people to see what was going on. But then there she was, almost teary, and in disbelief that we were there shouting and carrying on... celebrating them.

It was so much fun. 
But... not only did we crash the party... we broke it! Within a half hour every single guest had said their goodbyes and the house was empty.  But we stayed a little longer, gathered around the table, and played a game. And it felt... kind of perfect.

a friendship that lasts...

It could have been any Saturday of the 80s: Maria's subs, a walk along the jetty at the lighthouse, searching for seaglass, ice cream at Wilbur's, and the laughter that always happens between friends. But... it was just last weekend. More than thirty years later, we manage to tuck a quick conversation into the few calm moments in the frenzy of life... advice, something funny, sharing a memory. And if a visit is possible, we love to make it happen.

I've known Kim since 7th grade... and even though we weren't friends at first {she took my fear of middle school and life as snobbishness!}, by 8th grade I was giggling at her sleep-over party. We spent summers scooping ice cream, we wore the same color dress to the Junior Prom, and being December girls, we lamented about being the last to get our driver's license.

a couple of over exposed photos from 1988

Her hospitality and her family in the mix of ours only made the weekend better. {And it was a bonus that we had our own photographer for a family group shot or two, and tons of touring tips... right down to finding gluten-free cannoli!} I'm ever thankful for friends who hang around forever... the ones who choose to really know you. My life would be less without her.

april 2016, lot #3

We love the beach.
We love our people fiercely.
We never say no to ice cream... and we eat our ice cream fast.
And every time one of us drops an egg on the kitchen floor, we think of each other.

for the love of books...

We google mapped our way across Boston Common to a brunch spot that promised gluten-free deliciousness... but the hunger for food nearly disappeared when we spotted an outdoor book shop. Their love of books kicked in, but we managed to eat before the volumes called them back across the street.

They could have browsed for hours... 

Eventually we got back on track and resumed our wandering through the city.

Later we passed by again, and seeing it all closed up was almost just as cool...

A house without books is like a room without windows.

Horace Mann

you can go home again...

A few weeks ago I had one of those crazy thoughts pass through my head... we researched it, decided against it, and then... things began to fall into place. Last weekend, that crazy Saturday morning passing-thought-in-my-head came to life, and spending three days in Boston was so much more than I could have even imagined.

With Laura at the end of her service, and her next step hanging in the balance, we decided we needed to see her, put our arms around her. And when I finally did hold her in a close hello, the tears just rolled down my face. How is it that you don't really know just how much you've missed someone until you are together again?

We happily exhausted ourselves as we explored Boston and retraced the footsteps of my growing up and our romance in my hometown of Scituate. When we stopped in at our old family ice cream store, the new owner even let me scoop my own cone! It was such fun to share these places with our kids... it had been 19 years since I had brought them there, and ten years since I had been back myself.

The best thing of the weekend was being all together, four. I have no idea how long it will be before it will happen again, and so I count my blessings that we could make this trip happen. Home? It is Boston, it is Scituate, it is Wilbur's, it is Beyond Grace... but mostly, it is four.

p.s... four photo credit goes to kim... more on that friendship coming soon.

life lately... independence day

We didn't have big plans for celebrating the holiday... we were just happy to both have Monday & Tuesday off together! Since I knew I wasn't going to talk Eric into the beach fireworks on Tuesday, I figured it would be worth a shot to try for the local baseball game on Monday, since they had fireworks afterwards...

1. On the way to the game, I spotted this atrocity. I don't know how they got it all
fastened up there, and I certainly didn't trust it to stay! We got out from behind them
as soon as we could... 

2. We arrived at the game, and even though it was under a lightning delay, I was excited!

3. I think what I liked best about the game was... watching them take the tarp off the field,
seeing the many moods of the sky beyond the stadium (from sunset to crazy lightning!)
and just having time out with Eric. Apparently, I don't care for baseball. Oops. 

4. Us, looking super cute in our Cornell College caps! We were prepared for the rain that delayed
the game after the third inning (raincoats, umbrella & hats)... but after an hour we decided we
were not prepared to hang around until after midnight for the fireworks. See #3. 

5. Eric got up at 2 am to start his beef brisket in the smoker... 12 hours!

6. Playing Game of Phones at our friend's house. Cam gave John this card game for his
birthday and it is SO. FUN. I did NOT accidentally buy a refrigerator this time around.
Our friends happened to have this cool charging station, which was a pretty great accessory!

7. Toasting the holiday with a little patriotic lemonade!

8. The beef brisket was worth his sleepless night... it was delicious!

9. And what is a holiday without dessert? Chocolate pavlova... but for the second year
in a row my meringue flattened in the oven. Anyone know why?

I hope your day was great!

from the drafts: that week in may...

from the drafts:
i found a few written-but-never-published posts... and to get my voice going, i'm finishing them up!
this one is from LAST may...
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That week Camden was home in May {see also, this post} was the beginning of the settling of my soul. For too long, my heart had been in a mess over my job, and I finally let go, agreeing to interview for a job that had been {sort of} offered.  And, of course, any time I have the four of us under one roof, life feels good and right.

These two fall right back into their rhythm of banter, and oh how I love to hear the joy in each of their voices across the house. If I ever feel like my parenting has lacked (and so often, I do), I know that I have succeeded in teaching them that their family is their home.

And something almost as important, that I know they know, is that your friends can also be your family. We went out for a family dinner, with friends, to celebrate these two, and their successful first year of college. It was a joy and a relief to know that they overcame their personal challenges and made the most of their opportunities. They soared like the Eagles they are, and found that their scouting skills really are life skills.

We spent his last day at SeaWorld, since we could only get him back to Iowa from Orlando anyway. It was a relaxed kind of day, the only plan being to enjoy. The time together filled my soul, shored up my heart...

Looking forward to August when we are four once again...

fitting it in...

It doesn't feel quite like summer without a little family vacation, but it has been almost impossible to schedule it with Cam spending most of this summer in Iowa. But... he's home now, and we decided to scoot away this past weekend, the four of us, and pick up where we left off at SeaWorld.

It doesn't really matter where we go as much the being together matters. I can definitely feel that the beginning of the end is in sight... that family trips will soon be the exception rather than the rule. Even more reason to cherish four.

The day was grand, and full of thrills. Seventeen roller coaster rides for them, about half of that for me, and a few less for Eric. For the most part, we trekked the park as a group, enjoying the shows and time together. We let them loose to ride the new roller coaster a few more times while we... rested.

There is nothing like walking ten miles under the Florida summer sun!  We did find a few places to cool off though... like the Arctic, and Antarctica! I think Camden would have also liked the front row at the Shamu show.... but the top row of the splash zone was as close as I was willing to get!

At the end of the day, we were still laughing, still enjoying just being together. There is no more success than that...

a fair day... sunflowers and boots

Our weekend started on Thursday night... it has been a while since that happened.
We have spent seven months adjusting to Eric's Monday through Friday schedule, and while I cherished our every-other-three-day-weekend, we are making due just fine. {And now I am laughing at myself, because not only did he work this Saturday, he took me along to work, too!}

We had a quick preview of the county fair on Thursday night. Just a stroll through, and a snack here and there. The real fun was Saturday, when the whole fourth grade in the whole county is invited to spend the morning at the fair and have it all to themselves {with many, many sheriff's deputies!} We arrived at Eric's school just after 7am, and in the next hour we checked in and loaded his fourth grade Jr. Deputies onto two buses, and headed for the fair. They were so excited. For a lot of these kids, from this school, this is probably their first and only chance...

As we walked the fair loop a few times, I smiled as Eric would shoot out his hand for a fist bump, or be surrounded by kids, excited to see him. He was made for this, working in the schools... even his really tough school. If these kids can have a few friendly encounters with the law, perhaps it will do them more good than we can know in the long run. Planting seeds...

We survived the fair... with the help a barn roof over our head in the downpour, four baby bunnies. and sunflowers galore. Life is good.

And... it got a little better.
After a solid nap, we dressed up in our boots for an Upscale Hoedown. Good friends, great food, more sunflowers, and a whole lot of laughter. It was so much fun {that I almost forgot we "worked" the morning away!} and I even managed to get my husband to dance. That's what happens when he tells me he is ready to go, but still has a drink in his hand.

parties are one of my favorite things...

This has been a year of parties.
We had two Eagle Scout parties (plus one more I got to help out with for my friend's son!), and a graduation party... and as if that wasn't enough, once the boys took off for summer camp, I threw my own party, just for me. I had wanted to host it last year, but everyone was traveling. This year, it worked out perfectly, and some of my most favorite people spent Sunday afternoon at my house, laughing the day away.

 

There were ten of us... friends from all different parts of my life. Because I love to play (ahem, win) games, I wrote my own left-right game story about my friends, and how I had met them, what they have meant to me. I think I made it through without crying. The whole day felt like that moment when you are sitting around the table, surrounded by your people, getting ready to make that birthday wish... a moment which almost always brings me to tears. To love and be loved... it is such a precious gift.

And the favorite things? There were tubes of Burt's Bees, lotion & refreshing face cloths, a giant ziplock bag with a plastic box and multi-purpose tool, a set of brightly colored mini tongs, a wine stopper, hair clips, yankee candles, cupcakes, and the most clever? dinner in a bag! Everyone shared their story of why this was something that was their favorite, and that mostly led to more laughter.

Laughter? Yep.
One of my most favorite things.

I have another party to share with you... because I guess throwing four parties just wasn't enough fun!