rest stop...

Two hours from home, we stopped where we always do... at the base of the Skyway Bridge. The sky was a gorgeous blue, and the wind had the flags spread out with crisp corners. We noticed people walking along the water, and I'm not sure I had ever seen as much beach here... or if I had, I surely didn't know it was accessible. But when I came out of the restroom, I spotted Camden at the water's edge.

I made my way over the rocky barrier, and was happy that the ground felt solid rather than the squishy I had anticipated. I was surprised that Laura was next over the rocks, and filled with a sense of beach day joy. It didn't take long for them to be running out their energy, as if they were seven or eight... they are the silliest.

When I asked for a photo of the two of them, they couldn't hold it together. I finally did get a desk-worthy shot, but I'm not sure it is my favorite.

I'm not sure I could choose a favorite from this windblown slice of joy...

ten minutes until sunset...

We were on our way to dinner when someone suggested a detour... did we have time?
When the beach calls, I always say yes.

We may not have put our toes in the sand, but the salty air and changing beauty in the sky were the perfect start to an evening with friends.

the beach rule

We've had a rule since they were pretty small - always bring extra clothes to the beach. It sounds silly, but there have been lots of evenings we'd go to just splash our feet, play in the sand and watch the sunset... not planning on a swim, because maybe it was too cold, or we just had 20 minutes. But we learned our lesson early on. Someone always ended up soaked from head to toe - either by chance or by desire. So it became a rule. No matter what, towels & a full change of clothes were part of the plan.

Until Cam's last night home in June.

A storm was rolling in at home, and we thought it might be storming at the beach... but on his last night, we took a chance. Twenty minutes of drive time can make a big difference, and it did. Perfect beach night weather, with not a storm cloud in sight.

We walked and wrote messages in the sand. We laughed at the coquinas at the edge of the surf. We talked, and we didn't. And then we waited for the sun to set... the whole reason we came on his last night home. As we stood in the shallow, waves lapping over our feet, he said... I kind of want to just swim. His shorts were half-way to soaked, and it didn't take him more than five minutes from to wanting to, to deciding he just needed to be in.

What can a mom do but smile? And remember that rule from a lifetime ago. A time when I was almost his whole world, when I could scoop his whole little self into my arms and just hold on.

There are days I'd go back to... try again, do better... savor.
But tonight I just laugh... and soak in this time, just us... hoping it will last until Christmas.


p.s...and when we were almost home, he asked did you grab my shoes? And so his favorite footwear spent the night on the beach. He was able to rescue them, with an hour to spare, before we had to leave for the airport!

a night for sisters...

The sight of it never fails to make me fall in love all over again...

The sea oats waved and the gulf rushed to greet me... and when the warm water swallowed up my feet, I felt home.  The overcast sky didn't bother me at all... I was too happy that the only thunderstorm on the radar was way too south of us to be a bother.  {I was so focused on getting there that I never bothered to check ahead of time.}  Maybe it was just hanging on to faith to know that this night would happen. It had been too long since we had the evening, just sisters.

I brought her birthday dinner, belated.
Tacos. And dessert. We didn't exactly eat it in that order.
We talked and laughed, and took in the evening breeze... we listened to the beach.

And then we decided to create...

The sun set, and we parted ways, hoping to make this happen again, sooner than later. It was agreed that this night was needed... for connection.  It was a beautiful night for sisters...

my choice...

It was a juggling of the car and an unexpected turn of scheduling that brought me the choice of how to spend an hour or so alone, while Eric went to his appointment. Hobby Lobby?  Or...

 
As I walked along the shoreline, the waves laughed at my state of over-dress, but what is a little salt-water between friends?  Soaked to the knees, I spent the hour thinking, breathing, walking... and enjoyed every minute. My mind worked overtime thinking that summer is coming, and I should do this more often after work.  Then I remembered, I live in summer all-year-round and there is no excuse for missing this beauty that is not all that far west of me...

Some days I collect treasures, but instead I just admired the heart-shaped stones and shells, and let the coquinas dig in peace. My pockets were full enough with my thoughts. There are life changes coming our way, and I want decisions decided, but he still has time. And a little bit of hope was whispered on another front, and my mind is reeling and planning, even though the time for that is probably too far off.

God's timing is perfect... and I need to remember that.  He will bring the answers and the plans in His time, and all I can do is wait. Be still and know. Easier said than done.

At the beach, time you enjoyed wasting, is not time wasted.

-t.s. eliot

morning glory...

I call, she calls... we chat for an hour here, an hour there.  It keeps us connected, up to date with the roller coasters of daily life. But I still miss her. On a whim, we decided to meet at the beach for a walk...

We walked for miles. Almost five. She introduced me to this beach so many years ago. The place you go when you want {need!} to feel like you are on vacation.  We used to pile kids and pails and swim noodles and chairs on our laps while we navigated the boardwalk in the golf cart shuttle.  Today we walked, unencumbered.  Through the mangroves, up and down the beach. Our chatter spun around us like the breeze, and the stories of the spring and summer washed over our souls, as the waves splashed against our bare feet. Too much time had passed, and sharing the morning felt like coming home.

along the shore

I brought along my ipod, freshly charged, for this walk... longing for the worship music that moves me.  But I couldn't bring myself to plug in. I should have known... the rolling ocean, the rhythm of the waves is the worship music of my soul.

I walk, worship... and seek the treasures He reveals to me along the way.

a few weeks ago...

It was a quick trip, one day up, college visits {yes. for real} and then home. The "boys" were leaving that next morning for camp and there was still laundry to be done, bags to be packed.  But that quick trip left me so refreshed that I felt like we had been gone days...

Sometimes, and for me it is usually, last minute plans work out best.
I texted her before we headed north to see if maybe she was free for lunch.  The timing was perfect.  Lynda & I had met while our husbands were deployed together in the USCG after 9/11. We shared so many prayers and phone calls, laughter & tears... and it was good to catch up. She is definitely hoping Cam chooses one of the St. Pete schools for college!

We decided that as long as we were staying overnight, we may as well choose something close to the beach... mix a little pleasure in with the business at hand!  It seemed an endless walk across the beach, but when the gulf was finally in sight, it was beautiful. For two hours I rested in the sunshine, catching the ocean breeze. I could hear thunder rolling in the distance, but the radar told me keep resting.  I needed those hours. I needed to let go and exhale... to make room for summer.

I did not want to leave the beach, even though thoughts of dinner were starting a rumbling in my stomach. I tried to work out the timing of when to eat and how long it might take... so that we'd make it back in time for sunset. We debated a great gluten-free menu and casual beach fare, and I am sure it is only his love for me that landed us at a table with a view...

Live music, a gusty beach breeze and a beautiful view were only a few perks of the evening. Mostly it was the laughter at the half-round table for three, and a really great waitress who made it easy for Eric to eat.  I can hardly recall the conversations, but I know they were lively and funny and insightful. College visits speaks his age, but to sit across the table and listen to him is to realize how much he knows and where his interest lie. It is one of my favorite things about being a mom of a teenager.

Just as we were finishing up, the thunder clouds moved in and the rain came down, spoiling the dinners of many picnickers. But we were dry... and the laughter began again as we plotted how to save our table until sunset. Dessert. Another drink. And then maybe one more, since sunset was still a few minutes off...

This was an evening that was so full of life... one that will set the bar for lovely nights. I will try to recreate the magic of it, but sometimes you wonder if you can really return. But what I know for sure is this... St. Pete just got at least two more college votes.

happy fourth!

It is one of my my favorite things... when the wind is blow strong and Old Glory flies on the breeze.
And this shot?  Taken at the beach a couple of weekends ago, so two of my favorite things.

I hope your Fourth of July is spectacular!

away from the everyday...

The sun beats down hot, but the breeze coming across the gulf is cool.  I could sit here all day.

I can hear their voices being carried in by the wind.  I don't know what they are saying, but it really doesn't matter, it makes me smile.  It is not the content of the conversation that makes the communication between father and son meaningful. It is the fact that they are sharing. One passing along some tidbit of interesting, the other commenting on it.  Once in a while I notice a description involving wide arm movements.

I cherish this scene and the laughter that makes its way across the waves. Sometimes the best conversations happen when you are away from the tv, the radio, the buzz of everyday life.  Even if it is not a real vacation, but a day stolen from midweek...

a bookend-ed day...

I was surprised it only took 23 minutes, from my drive way to the parking lot. On a weekday it would have taken at least ten minutes longer, but the world must have been sleeping in on Saturday...

The boardwalk was quiet.  No rumble of golf carts. No chatter of walkers passing by.  I dodged a couple of spider webs along the way, all worth it, because this path through the mangroves gives way to beautiful.

It never fails to take my breath away.
At the same time, though, it opens up my soul, creating breathing room.  Chatter of the birds, waves lapping up the shore line, and sea foam splashing up as I walk along.  Words come and go though my head, but mostly I am just in the moment, laughing at this snowy egret stalking the fishermen casting out their nets...

: :

Somewhere between loads of laundry and unloading the dishwasher I decided there was no better way to celebrate the first day of summer than to start and end my day with my toes in the sand. I decided on a different spot, one of my other favorites. Lot #3. Chipotle to-go only added to its charm.

I'm planning on making the most of the summer...

scenes from a mother's day

My life is beautiful... my cups overflows.

When I was little I wanted to be a teacher... but as I grew, my dream changed, and I just wanted to be a mom.  I am thankful that I get to be theirs.  It is hardly ever easy, and these past weeks have stretched my heart towards the breaking point, and maybe past it.  But it is always worth it.  Always worth being continually amazed by these children who have grown taller than me... by their kindness, their faith, and the way they see & tackle the world.  It seems that I learn as much from them as they have learned from me.

Last night, when I dug my toes into the cool sand after such a beautiful day, I exhaled, letting the heavy stuff move on.  It is necessary... to make room for all the grace and love just waiting to move in.