December 21, 2009
Sunday was our church's family Christmas celebration. Choir singing a cantata. Sunday school children in costume. PowerPoint playing in the background. Birthday party for Jesus.
My plan. Simply sit back and enjoy it, while sitting next to my Mom. I was looking forward to seeing all of the pictures scroll in sync with the full sound of the choir supporting the story. That was my plan.
God's plan. I did sit next to my Mom... with Chelsea on my lap. Perched there, she had a dual view of Laura singing in the choir and the photo show. She also had a long list of things to say... There's Laura! Oh! A present. A horse! A Donkey! Baby Jesus? There's Laura! Where's Baby Jesus? There's Camden! Whatsa manger? Having her sweet goodness in my arms reminded me of my own babies who no longer fit on my lap... And then there was Ian. At almost a year, he is as cute as can be... and I could hardly resist grabbing him up from his own Auntie as he played peek-a-boo with me around her head. His full-of-life smile tugged at my heart and reminded me that uncomplicated joy still exists if we let go of our stuff and just live. The music was elegant and lively all at once... and the solos sung by my daughter and my husband? Oh, they took my breath away. To have such courage to stand before the microphone and lift your voice in praise... stunningly beautiful in more than just the sound. Oh yes... and then there was the PowerPoint. I didn't watch too much of it, just enough to let Chelsea know when Laura or Cam's pictures were coming up. What I did watch? The kids, dressed in their costumes, sitting in the rows before me. Their laughter and surprise at their own photos, and the pointing fingers just reaching out in glee. And I watched the parents I could see... their smiles. Their own joy and love for their children expressed with their eyes and tears. Of course... then there was the story. Oh, the story. How many times have I heard it? or told it? And yet today... it was if my heart was hearing it for the first time. I sat there amazed... tears lingering. But when Pastor came and plucked up Ian and reminded us how the Word was made flesh... I could not contain nor hold back the tears. Joyful tears... joyful that Jesus came to the earth.
I cannot imagine why I am surprised that His plan was so much better than mine. And I cannot imagine why I even thought to have a plan. I did not, for one second, think to hold onto my own... I simply let go and fell into His... thankful for each and every precious breath...