imagination begins with i

... and so does ice.

My Florida boy dreams of snow. I sometimes think there is nothing he would like better... to see it snow... to live where it snowed... to live in an igloo. It didn't surprise that he was attracted to this pile of ice... dumped after a long night at the concession stand. And I wasn't too shocked that he wanted to play in it. Scooping it up in his hands, he tossed it up into the air over and over again... making it "snow." Didn't matter if clunked him on the head... in fact, I think he thought that was just as much fun.
Watching the joy and excitement on his face filled my heart with laughter. Try as I might, I could not capture the moment on film, and decided that the best way to hold the memory close to my soul was to put down the camera... and join in the fun.

It is A to Z Monday at Jen's Unglazed...

back then & here and now

Spending a day (or two) down in the dumps has got me thinking... and when I think, I am bound to learn something... mostly about myself. And I realize how much of the way-back-then affects my here-and-now. Sometimes it makes sense... and sometimes it doesn't. But I am learning, just the same.
I have never been particularly self-assured. At some point in my life, my shyness shifted to a great sense of self-doubt. No matter that my Mother assured me of my beauty and my gifts... when your peers decide that your worth is based upon their own ideas, no amount of motherly love can negate it. If I am to pinpoint the moment my childhood innocence was shattered, it would bring me back to the four-square court in elementary school. A game I was not good at, but at least I kept trying. It was finally my turn... and I recall feeling relief that a very good friend was choosing the next category. I whispered to her please don't pick songs because while I did listen to a radio, I didn't know any song titles beyond Row, Row, Row Your Boat. I don't think I will ever forget the look in her eye... as she purposely looked at me and announced Song Titles. No repeats. Devastated? You bet.
Just a year or so later, we moved. And of course... I was the new girl. And all that it implies. The trying and the teasing and the friendlessness... the longing for a peace. Eventually I did find that... and quickly came to know that having just a few true friends held more value than a crowd. And those people... miles away... I still count as friends. And their friendship is beauty to my heart.
These days... I am still growing. My shyness does not last quite as long, and once you get to know me... you know all of me. But I still know the real value of a few people who you can really count on. And I suppose... that is why it hurts so much to be hurt. One small disappointment from a true friend is more painful than a slight from an acquaintance. And while it haunts my heart... I am eager to climb out up over the dark wall. And I am getting there.
Where there once was a dark wall of steel erected around my heart, the wall I am building today is one of lattice. Open to let the sun shine in... and out. Woven with vine... that is all Jesus. He covers my sorrow with His outstretched arms and leaves hope. Even now... at almost 38... I am still growing and learning and building. I am not standing still. And that is something that I am thankful for.

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.
John 15:5


Tuesdays are about the messy, the lovely and the unexpected. The messy? That is me. The lovely? Jesus. And as for the unexpected... I guess it could be the lesson. Or the growth itself. Unwrap a Tuesday with me... with Emily. And all the rest of the Tuesday gals.

journey starts with j

I'm pretty certain that journey is the same "j" word I chose last time around... but as I have voiced, time and again... it is my blog and I can break the rules if I need to! And today... I had to find a word to go along with what I really wanted to share. And so... journey it is.

This year, the chosen theme for the Marching Pride is Around the World... hence, the globe... that incidentally, after searching hi-and-low for one and asking everyone he had a number for, Mr. Best-Band-Director-Ever, was still less than impressed with this one. But I had one... it was free... because it was in my son's closet. Anyway... the theme is our Journey. The band marches their way through songs from Cuba, Great Britain, France and the USA. Of course, they have to make a stop at the Holiday Inn, which is a great crowd pleaser. Please... do not look up the lyrics for this song. Please. Mr. BBDE was completely unaware that there was a version other than the "clean" one he found on itunes!
Saturday, all of the county bands gathered and showed off the hard work they have been putting in... and it is the highlight of the marching season. But the highlight of the show? It has to be when all seven bands join together and play our National Anthem. It was an amazing moment. Standing with my hand on my heart... the tears rolled... Along with the sweat. A beautiful fall day, for sure. But I would have ordered something less than 90 plus degrees...



I can't believe that marching season is almost over. It is always too short... but all the more the reason to sit back and enjoy the journey.

Turns out... I did not use journey last time... I chose Jesus. I wonder if anyone else had to repeat their word!? Find out at Jen's Unglazed for A to Z Monday!

happy halloween, part 2

So here they are... my Halloween sweeties. All dressed up for a night of sugar-filled fun...

I was not really the nice mom when it came to Laura's Halloween costume. At fifteen, I figure they should be done trick-or-treating... but who am I to say no to a gathering of great girls? So we put our heads together (with some accessories around the house) and made her into a gypsy. A very pretty gypsy... if a Mom can say so! And she had a blast with her friends. Is still having a blast... as trick-or-treat turned into a sleep-over party.

And this kooky son of mine... with no influence from anyone, he decided that a lawn gnome would be the perfect costume. And when I told him it was picture time, he wandered out to the garden and planted himself! So full of fun and imagination... he makes me laugh on an hourly basis. He was slightly disappointed in the trick-or-treating venue... as we left our neighborhood for the first time, but he had fun with his buddy and later, making s'mores around the fire.

Not to be left out of the Halloween fun...
Eric dressed up for the annual marching band trunk-or-treat. His costume was quite appropriate, seeing as how he is in charge of the concession stand. Get it? A hot dog grilling up a human? Hmmm... and I wonder where that son of mine gets the crazy streak...

As for me? I am content to put Halloween behind me. While for most it is just plain fun... for me it was full of hurt feelings. Mine. A gathering I wasn't invited to... an argument about what time I was leaving to flee my neighborhood... in order not to see the gathering begin. I'm just glad it is over. I will gladly pack all of the decorations away today and put out my Thanksgiving dessert plates... because they really make me smile. And I will try... to focus on the good things all around me... and pray for the strength to push all of the lingering hurt away.