by the light

December comes humbly, last in the line of twelve.  Her days are short of daylight and heavy on weary.  It has been a long year.  And yet... we have waited on her, anticipated her, and we are counting on her joy to carry us through.

We string the twinkle lights, decorating each corner, stretching them as far and high as we can reach.  Their glow seems to possess a magical power, bringing warmth and love to the cold and the dark.  As I stumble into the living room in the wee hours of the morning, my first stop is to light the tree, and weary turns towards joy.

My tree may still be bare of ornaments, but the lights are enough for now, and even just-right for a few minutes of morning reading.  Also enough?  A few nativities here and there, that I moved from one place to another.  The only other decorating I've done is to rearrange the piano top, setting out my nativity hurricanes.  Only... I can't seem to recall where I stowed the nativity rings last year.  But coming home to flickering candles (electric, on a timer) has brought a smile to my face, even without the shepherds praising and the wise men approaching.  Maybe this weekend there will be more...

Oh, December, you may be last, but maybe it is a true case of saving the best for last.  My house may not be decked out and ready, but my heart is open and already full of Christmas joy.  Christmas joy and light.

How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world.

-William Shakespeare

capturing december

It seems elusive... rushing along while you are trying to savor every moment.  Even as you are counting down the days, you sneak in a wish for one more hour, one more week.  But when the to-do's are finally done, and you think you might be ready to rest, the days are short and this month of hope has all but passed.   I have lost October, and most all of November... but I am hoping to capture December.  I want to celebrate the small, drink in the joy, and worship the King.

For once in my life, I planned ahead. Friday night, before our trek north, I laid out my plan.  To come home to it yesterday was a breath of relief, a promise not to just let this pass.  I've actually been planning since September... celebrating Advent with our youth group through October and November.  Because sometimes even church just becomes to busy to take time to wander through the wonder of Advent. And now, I feel ready... open to receive Him.  Truth be told, the story has already drawn me in, captured my heart, perhaps in a whole new way.
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If you want to peek in on something so special... click over to the Skit Guys and their First Christmas series. I'm not a video kind of girl, but this series of six short monologues drew me close and brought me to tears. Joseph standing in awe of Mary.  Elizabeth filled with wonder and joy.  Mary, just a girl from Nazareth.  An unlikely hero in the Innkeeper.  The chosen Shepherd, and the Wise Men, listening... seeking the signs, a star.  You can click over and watch each story {only Mary's is longer than 3 minutes!}... and I promise, you will be blessed.

the first of december

We had walked in once before... before she was settled, before she had made it her home away from home. We were timid and searching, but the arches that reached to the heavens took us in, reminded us of our first family church home.   On this morning, the first of December, the arches were graced with evergreen, banners and candles sang out of this waiting season, and the altar was covered in hope. Advent.  It filled me in a way I have not felt in months.  Filled me to overflowing.

Maybe it was the way the liturgies wrapped around my soul, a long lost memory that reached the surface and felt like home.  It could have been recognizing her voice among the others in the choir... that sweet high voice that I know by heart.  If I close my eyes I can still hear her small vibrato in the notes... and it almost does me in.  It is still a balancing act, having her there and here, and knowing she belongs in both places.

There are many that have helped her carve out her place... offering rides and lunches, knitting lessons and friendships... all the while just loving like Jesus.  It is no small thing to wrap someone's child into your heart, as if she were you own... and it was so special to reach out and thank them today.  It made the trip worth every mile.  

november thanks...

These past Novembers haven't received many words from me... just six posts each!  I didn't want to let this November pass without at least one though... and in the middle of the dark night, the words began to come. I hope I can remember some of them...
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My first thankful Thanksgiving thought this year, as I was gathering up my morning doses,  was I'm thankful for medicines and doctors.  Yes, I am still sick... on the mend, but still not well {but let's save the details for another day!}  And my second, as she stumbled out to the living room bundled in a blanket, was that all of a sudden we were back to four.  It is good to be whole again, if just for a few days!  Even though our four weren't around one table for a meal on this day of thanks, the day was beautiful and special and full.

Eric headed out the door for work before first light, and three gathered on the couch for the Macy's parade. There were congo squares in the oven, high flying balloons and the Rockettes on the television...my favorite way to celebrate Thanksgiving morning!  I missed more of the parade than usual, but enjoyed a little more time in the kitchen with Eric as he stopped by to prepare some side dishes for the shift lunch at the substation.  Sweet potatoes and stuffing... and a special cup of gluten-free gravy just-for-him!  {Someone else made the turkey!} As we headed out to my Mom's for dinner, I took one last glimpse at the kitchen, piled high with mess, I hoped it would be a slow day for the police and that I might come home to clean...

The Ice Cream Man carved the turkey, but the day was less about the food and more about being together... and it was perfect.  The afternoon and evening were full of laughter and the people I love {and knowing Eric was having two dinners made him not being there okay!}  Games were played around the table, children squealed as they ran though and around the house, mothers and daughters spent time, and we celebrated a little birthday.  Seven.  Sweet seven!  Ice cream sundaes instead of pie.  Congo squares instead of brownies. And since we passed on veggies with the meal, it seemed we had plenty of room for dessert...

Though there was not conscious list, my heart was full of thanks... the kind of full that simply cannot decipher one moment from the next, the kind of full that just is.  For the day, the people, the love. And after two months of feeling crummy, it was just what this soul needed.

I hope your day was a lovely celebration of  love and thanks!