the amazing years

We walk and we talk... and he asks for he camera.
I simply cannot stop myself from capturing the moment on the other one.  

This boy, and his sister, too... they amaze me.  It is not just in their growing, but in their becoming.  I wish I could take back every low groan of agreement when someone shared their grumble of oh just wait until they are teenagers!  Just now, when one has grown out of them and the other is five years in, I have stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop, ceased thinking that there might be a turn for the worse. Because the teen years are amazing.  I stand in awe, marveled by who they are, what they choose, where they wander.

I remember the day, the moment, when I felt free in motherhood, felt like this was how it was supposed to be. We had tagged along on Eric's reserve weekend, and somehow I had pulled off the impossible.   While he went off to work, I got two kids {three & six} up and dressed, packed and checked out of the hotel, and we were off to catch Beauty & the Beast in IMAX somewhere down the road.  I was standing there, buying the tickets... giddy. It was the feeling of accomplishment... that these littles were really small, capable people... and that we could really have fun together without a whole lot of stress.  We must have been quite a sight... laughing and rushing and loving it all.

These days I am just trying to keep up.  Somewhere along the way, I had to give up being the director of their paths, and am just along for the ride.  A wild, wonderful ride... filled with their ideas and their dreams that are beyond my imagination.  I am cherishing every turn, savoring the hours he is home, every note of his laughter.  When he disappoints me, my heart breaks, and I remind myself that he is human, and so am I.  We regroup, we forgive, and we snuggle in... because life is too short to hang on to what upsets us.

I catch myself staring... wondering where that little boy in the two-left-feet-too-big-red-cowboy-boots has gone off to. And when he leans in again, for just a moment, I wish I could hold his whole self in my arms again.  But then I remember... this? now?  Pretty darn amazing.

sunday photos {on a monday morning}

It is probably my favorite scenery... what I see when I look up.
The sky, the sunshine, a canopy of trees.  Robin's egg blue, golden clouds, sunshine sparkling through green. It can add a little magic to the day... even if we are just standing outside waiting for an oil change.

We came around the corner, and the golden light flooded us.  Turning, we could see the trees glowing, their leaves glittering in the sunshine.  That kind of light just seeps in, and you can't hep but feel joy!  Camden asked for the camera, and started snapping away... unable to resist capturing the light!

The window is my best friend while travelling... and I collect the sights in my mind.  Rolling green hills, miles of fence line, trees arching and dripping with moss.  The camera can hardly capture it as we speed on along the road, and if I were to ask him to stop every time I saw something beautiful, we'd surely never get anywhere...

We spent Sunday out in the sunshine.  The crisp air and the warmth of the sun was the perfect combination! It was also our first experience of going to a horse show, experiencing the culture of it all firsthand.  What a beautiful, beautiful day!

Saturday's rain changed our course, but a little rain can't ruin a visit with our girl!  We found a sweet little restaurant in a tiny little town... and while we listened to her talk and took in all that she had to share, the rain poured down beyond the flower painted window...

**Linking up with Ashley's Scavenger Hunt Sunday!
{and jotting down next week's list so maybe I can get my act together a little earlier: camouflage, nutty, old style, haphazard, monochromatic}

the hard work...

It was a quick question... just wanting to know how her first work day back in the zoo was.  Her speedy reply of Very good! made me grin.  She is glad to be back.  And then my girl-of-few-words went on... It rained. And we were setting posts in the ground, SO I went home covered in mud and dirt.  You know how sometimes you just know the tone of a text?  I knew.  I knew... that she had loved every muddy second of it.

This is her dream.  Her muddy, messy, lovely dream.  And I want it for her so badly that I can taste it.  I tell myself that if, perhaps, this is not the road God wants her on to get to it, that it will be okay.  And while I know it will be, it just might break my heart a little bit anyway.

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that the messiest paths are the very best... laden with lesson, deep in perseverance.  Our hemlines may tear and stain as we trudge through, but looking back, I know that my life without my own messy missteps would be less.  Once upon a time, I wished for rainbows, fairy tales, and all things easy for my girl... but today I know, that as she soaks away the aches of hard work with tea and hot bubbles, she has a smile of satisfaction on her sleepy face, a smile that says I'm strong, I can do it.  

It does a mama-heart good... to know that she can assemble her own fairy tale.  And when that rainbow appears, she'll know it was not a silly wish, but a gift from above, the One who has planned and guided her way from the start.

when the yes fills you

Can we listen to this?
He asks as he is already slowly sliding the CD out from under a few stray papers that have been collecting under the car radio.  He knows what it is, and I can almost see the smirk on his face with my mother-trained eyes.  It is more fun, though, to watch the next expression come across his eyes when I say yes.  I can tell he is waffling between telling me what it is, and not.  But I already know.

Christmas music.  
And somehow, on the Sunday of the Super Bowl, when my Christmas tree has been uncharacteristically stowed for weeks, it fills the space in my soul.  Because maybe, in the long and short of February, a heart might just need to be reminded that the reason we celebrate Christmas is still nestled there.  That December joy can stretch and sway its way through the dull and dreary.  That the beautiful night in Bethlehem is meant to change my heart everyday...

I'm just a girl, Nothing more

But I am willing, I am Yours

Be born in me, be born in me

I'll hold You in the beginning, You will hold me in the end

Every moment in the middle, make my heart Your Bethlehem

- Born in Me, Francesca Battistelli