It has been a mess of days and I wonder if I can even think about reclaiming this ordinary train of thought. Weeks of words coming and going, getting lost in my aching head, with not a lick of motivation to trek back and find them. This morning, my words are bubbling through the fog of it all, but I am unsure if they will tell a story at the end, or just be a splattered mess.
Even this... is ordinary.
This sick that lingers. My breath gripped with bronchitis. And a list of medical to-do's that rivals the grocery list I can't seem to put together anyway. I can't escape this season of sick, year after year, and just do my best to catch it early. Even then, it is a tough, long road back to easy breathing... and not just in the healing. So much gets pushed to the side, and that stack of what waits, weighs down my heart. And my guys... oh they put up with a lot! Too much whining, too much serving, not enough me. I am anxious to turn that corner to well, where the breathing is easy... and I'm hopeful that in itself might be a good sign.
But even in this... life moves forward and I can see the cycle of a beautiful life play out before me. Morning goodbyes while the light filters in the window, steamy coffee, and a cozy spot to rest. When the clock teeters past noon, I know it won't be long before Cam walks in the door... and even though he ends up buried in homework across the house, just knowing he's there begins the full of evening. The bustle of dinner in the kitchen nudges me from my weariness and the golden light streaming in makes me smile. A full house. It is what I like best. And while I'm battling my way back to well, it is those little bits of ordinary are light to the dark days...