October 23, 2020

hello again...

I feel like I've been holding my breath for months now, how about you? 
One and two felt endless.
Three through seven have flown by, and now...
I wonder if, or how, I can even find the normal that was. 

My county has renewed the mask mandate until April 2021. I'm not against the masks, in fact, we're trying to have as much fun with them as possible. But as long as I was living month to month, I felt ok {although is that really living?} and now, with a six month outlook, what are we to do? I can feel the anxiety slipping back in, grasping hold of my heart. Six months...  how do I not plan for six months? Or do I just make the plans anyway, and move on... masked

We have been as careful as we can be, all out in the workforce, making the best of every day. Sometimes that means take-out curled up on the couch, just us, and other times we venture out to our favorite winery, where we know they are taking precautions seriously, and have a double date night. And sometimes... it is all too much, and all too little, and more than I can really fathom. 

So that normal... the one that was? It had its good and bad. The good? Fun, friends, adventure. The bad? Busy, hurried... and just because. What I'd really like to do is find a happy medium. Because the good of right now has a lot going for it {besides all of the house projects we've ticked off the list!} Time, quiet, purpose, rest, and yes... joy.

Today I'm taking the day to wrestle with this unrest... and tomorrow, maybe I'll find a new way to breathe. 

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