Today is Friday... and I can breathe. Although my actual breaths are still mildly labor-some, my mind is breathing easier... on a break from catching up. After a couple weeks of being sick, and missing almost three days of work, Monday found me with that deer in the headlights look. I never did write my A to Z Monday post... even though I was full of "N" ideas... like nice, and nephew, and niece. Tuesday did not find me any saner... and I know for certain that I could have used those Tuesday Eyes that Emily chatted about. As the week went on (and on and on and on) I remembered why I don't usually succumb to being sick. A Mom doesn't have time to be sick... and this one certainly doesn't have the energy to run at the pace it takes to catch up. But there doesn't seem to be a choice... so I keep on running, all the while trying to ignore that little bit of discomfort that still sets in my ears.
And after a week of checking off all of the must-do things that don't leave room for the wanna-do things, I am amazed how disconnected I feel... from my blogging friends. Because as much as I have missed writing, I have missed reading. I have missed the heart-warming comments... giving as well as receiving. And I realize that my blogging friends are not at all make-believe... they are a very present part of my real life. Some of my real-life friends probably could have told me that... since I frequently share stories and ideas that I happen across in this bloggy world.
So today is Friday... my day. And I am thankful... for the chance to catch up at my own pace, or not.
October 08, 2009
October 03, 2009
rewinding the week, part 4
I loved watching Laura realize what was going on... seeing her face light up with surprise and disbelief and happiness. I loved hearing that giggle down in the back of her throat as she processed the information and waited for her brother to figure it out. But words were not necessary to feel her joy and to see her excitement.
When Camden finally realized what was going on, his eyes opened wide and his mouth constricted to a tiny "O". He went from slow confusion to shocked joy in a sliver of a second.
And then the shouting began. Maybe not shouting, but certainly a loud combination of words and laughter and explanations. All that the grown-ups had whispered about was finally on the table. The details of the when and the where... a little bit of the how... all amidst spaghetti and candlelight. And it was beautiful.
I think my kids are most excited about seeing the animals... they are such nature lovers. Camden and my Mom poured over the Africa scrapbooks with a new level of wonder, as they talked about what we might see. And me? I think I am most excited about seeing another corner of the world and the people. The stories my Mom has shared have given me a glimpse of another life, and her love for the people she has met has certainly made an impact on my own heart. I cannot wholly fathom that on the same page of the same calendar, people can live so differently. Africa is a world away from me... in so many more ways than distance. I am anxious to experience it, and I wonder if it will change me. I hope I am brave enough to embrace it all.
When Camden finally realized what was going on, his eyes opened wide and his mouth constricted to a tiny "O". He went from slow confusion to shocked joy in a sliver of a second.
And then the shouting began. Maybe not shouting, but certainly a loud combination of words and laughter and explanations. All that the grown-ups had whispered about was finally on the table. The details of the when and the where... a little bit of the how... all amidst spaghetti and candlelight. And it was beautiful.
I think my kids are most excited about seeing the animals... they are such nature lovers. Camden and my Mom poured over the Africa scrapbooks with a new level of wonder, as they talked about what we might see. And me? I think I am most excited about seeing another corner of the world and the people. The stories my Mom has shared have given me a glimpse of another life, and her love for the people she has met has certainly made an impact on my own heart. I cannot wholly fathom that on the same page of the same calendar, people can live so differently. Africa is a world away from me... in so many more ways than distance. I am anxious to experience it, and I wonder if it will change me. I hope I am brave enough to embrace it all.
October 02, 2009
rewinding the week, part 3
You can count on me... to keep a secret.
It is fun at first... to have a secret little dream tucked close to your heart. But as time passes, and the dream begins to grow, the secret is harder to keep and it just wants to burst out with shouting.
We had to wait a week... to tell the kids about Africa... until some of the travel books arrived, and until we could all be together. As each day of waiting passed, there were more phone conversations with my Mom, counting down the days, and being so thankful that we were not waiting until Christmas. And, at least, if we could not tell our kids about their grand surprise, Eric & I could whisper behind closed doors... because the excitement was so close to the surface and to not say anything was to chance the secret spilling out accidentally.
Perhaps by chance, Laura & Camden forgot to retrieve the mail from the end of the driveway... it is usually the highlight of their day. But for whatever reason, it was me who found the big thick envelope with the travel logo. I could not race to my bedroom quickly enough. I double checked to make sure the bedroom door was closed, and that if one of the kids happened to walk in, that I would be out of sight. Confident that the secret would not be exposed, I began to browse through the travel book and tried to absorb the reality. We are really going to Africa. Now, to keep the kids away from the mailbox for three more days...
By Sunday, my every thought was of Africa... and the need to tell was getting to me. Laura, did you finish up your laundry? We are going to Africa! Camden, make sure your backpack is ready for school. We are going to Africa! What should we have for dinner? We are going to Africa! Don't get the mail after school tomorrow... We are going to Africa! But my heart was somehow strong enough to keep the words prisoner in my head.
When the day of telling finally arrived, every fiber of my being was electrified with the excitement. I could barely sit still at my desk. And if both kids hadn't had important after school commitments, I would have raced home and sprung them from class. At ten to four, I finally declared that I couldn't take it any longer, and headed home, only to wait impatiently on the couch... and then finally it was time. I wasn't sure how my parents would tell them... but I knew it would be great.
It is fun at first... to have a secret little dream tucked close to your heart. But as time passes, and the dream begins to grow, the secret is harder to keep and it just wants to burst out with shouting.
We had to wait a week... to tell the kids about Africa... until some of the travel books arrived, and until we could all be together. As each day of waiting passed, there were more phone conversations with my Mom, counting down the days, and being so thankful that we were not waiting until Christmas. And, at least, if we could not tell our kids about their grand surprise, Eric & I could whisper behind closed doors... because the excitement was so close to the surface and to not say anything was to chance the secret spilling out accidentally.
Perhaps by chance, Laura & Camden forgot to retrieve the mail from the end of the driveway... it is usually the highlight of their day. But for whatever reason, it was me who found the big thick envelope with the travel logo. I could not race to my bedroom quickly enough. I double checked to make sure the bedroom door was closed, and that if one of the kids happened to walk in, that I would be out of sight. Confident that the secret would not be exposed, I began to browse through the travel book and tried to absorb the reality. We are really going to Africa. Now, to keep the kids away from the mailbox for three more days...
By Sunday, my every thought was of Africa... and the need to tell was getting to me. Laura, did you finish up your laundry? We are going to Africa! Camden, make sure your backpack is ready for school. We are going to Africa! What should we have for dinner? We are going to Africa! Don't get the mail after school tomorrow... We are going to Africa! But my heart was somehow strong enough to keep the words prisoner in my head.
When the day of telling finally arrived, every fiber of my being was electrified with the excitement. I could barely sit still at my desk. And if both kids hadn't had important after school commitments, I would have raced home and sprung them from class. At ten to four, I finally declared that I couldn't take it any longer, and headed home, only to wait impatiently on the couch... and then finally it was time. I wasn't sure how my parents would tell them... but I knew it would be great.
October 01, 2009
florida fall
October has crept in with just a whispered hint of that glorious Fall air. Forecasted, yes... but still unexpected. I have learned not to hang my Fall hopes on October... because it could go either way. The Florida Fall doesn't quite know how to behave. A continuation of scorching summer? Or a chill in the air that nips at your nose? Somewhere in the middle might be nice, but it seems that October only knows extremes. So I wait... for the days to lean towards November, where Fall is more certain. But my groceries? They are heralding the arrival...
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