known

The other day a friend asked how I was... not the Hi, How are you? kind of greeting, but the real true how are you that someone asks when they want the actual truth. The kind of how are you that makes you stop and assess the situation before replying. The best I could come up with was Okay. And I am. I think I am feeling better, day by day... and life is just bopping along without any great highs... and that is okay. And then Eric, loving husband, looked at my friend and said She's been down ever since I told her about Kathy.

I had to then really stop and think... because I know that I was so sad for a few days... but I thought I had come around to it alright. But I guess I was wrong... because he knows me, inside & out. He can read my eyes and see right into my soul. I am thankful for someone who can see beyond my fine and my okay. I am thankful for a husband who reaches out his hand to find mine... and the love that transfers from it.

I learned a long time ago that my eyes, indeed, tell my secrets. The first one to reveal it to me was my high school history teacher.  He just knew... if I had done the assignment, if I was really sad, if I was ready for the lesson. I will never forget him looking down to me and saying, Your eyes are the window to your soul, my dear. He was one of the great ones... that I learned more from than what was written in the curriculum or found between the pages.

Today I am hoping that beyond what I feel or think or do, that my eyes will tell the joy that lives down deep in my heart... the joy that cannot be broken or smothered by sadness. The joy of knowing my Savior... the One who carries me.