in a moment

It can all change... this life as we know it... the happiness we feel in our heart... the frustration and sadness that is eating away at you. It can all change... in just a moment. This afternoon I got a phone call... it was one of those that started out with Are you sitting down? A friend from church lost her husband today... just like that. No warning... no good-bye. It is amazing to me that just moments before I was sitting here angry about something or other... and whatever it was simply just doesn't matter anymore. Because someone who is so important to my daughter is hurting so much. Laura sits next to Judy in the choir... and while they are separated by probably fifty years... they are friends. Laura's quirky Hi! on a Sunday morning is all Judy needs to make her Sunday morning bright. And now this woman who has a heart of joy and chocolate chip cookies is so very sad. And it all happened... in an instant.
My own family has suffered such a tragedy... one that can still bring tears to our eyes... sixteen years later. My Uncle... his backyard... a tree. Just thinking it is enough for my eyes to tear up. I remember the day so very clearly... and although the sadness can still prevail... I learned an important lesson that day... I learned that it can all change... in an instant.
The wonderful man I married has a heart for service... and along with that service comes danger. He has fought fires... he has protected our country... and now he enforces the laws. All jobs that could possibly take him from me... in an instant. But on that day... when my Uncle died... I realized that dangerous job or not... only God knows the moment He will call us home. Crossing the street... driving in your car... cutting down a tree in your own backyard... fishing out in the Gulf with your buddies. In an instant, it all could change... and so I do not think about it when Eric walks out the door to work. I can not. For to worry when he goes to work, would also mean that I had to worry each and every time he was out of my sight. I can not live that way. And God does not want us to. He tells us to put it all in His hands... and I do. I have to. Because while our life could change... in an instant... He never will. God will never change. He will be there today, tomorrow, next week, next year... in a hundred years. He will be there... holding us in the palm of His hand.

hearts and flowers

I am getting pretty tired of hearing it... and it makes me a little sad. Why, oh why, do people dislike Valentine's Day so much? So what if it is just a Hallmark holiday! What could possibly be wrong with adding a little more love to the world? As for me... I love Valentine's Day... the hearts... the flowers... and all of the goofy love stuff. When the stores start showcasing the beautiful pink and red treasures, just days before Christmas, it makes me smile with anticipation... and it is quite hard to resist... but I do.
Growing up, Valentine's Day was mostly for the adults... but I do remember having a Valentine Party one year... and I remember missing the Ice Capades because my sister had to have tubes put in her ears... and I remember the most beautiful handmade card from my Mom. Closed, it was half of a white heart, made lacy with a hole punch and decorated with those shiny red heart stickers. And when you opened it the heart not only became a whole heart, but my Mom had used tissue paper and glue and somehow figured out how to make it look like one of those party store decorations that resembles sort of a honey-comb. I think I must have worn out the fold on that card... I loved it so much...
As an adult, I love to celebrate this little day of love...not in an extravagant way... just simply. My decorations are simple. I have finally found four Valentine dessert plates for my plate rack... and I have a few other hearts around... just a little of that pink and red delightfullness! Just this morning Eric came in looking for the Valentine's Mickey antenna toppers for the cars... yes... even on his squad car! Eric & I will exchange cards... and maybe a little gift. Probably my most memorable Valentine's gift was a three foot long stemmed rose (plastic) with colored sharpies tied to the stem. I know... most women would not think that this was a great gift... but me? You guessed it... it made me cry (happy tears!) I'm trying to think of something fun for this year!
Now that my kids have aged out of the school parties, we haven't made Valentine's for a couple of years... but that doesn't stop me from waiting anxiously for my Valentine edition of Family Fun to see what clever ideas have been dreamed up each year! This year we will be spending Valentine's Day in a magical place... with several young family members from Michigan (any guesses?) So maybe... just maybe we will have a little Valentine workshop here this weekend... (after the three school projects due Monday are finished!)
Even for me... it is a last minute kind of holiday... but why not celebrate? Sometimes I think we need the reminder... to slow down and celebrate love... not take it for granted. Sure... we should show our love everyday... but often those everyday details don't leave time for something special. And even if you don't have a "Sweetheart," I know there is someone else out there would would love to know that they are special to you.

me... on friends for a season

I have never been one to have a ton of friends. I have never yearned to be "popular." In my shyness, I was always happy to have a few really good friends... friends I knew I could count on... quality over quantity, I suppose. And in the course of my life there have been friendships that have come and gone. Some I have ended... some have drifted, and I'm sure we'll make our way back... and then there are those that have ended for reasons unknown to me. Those are the ones that sit in my heart and leave me wondering... and asking Why?
Those friendships I have ended... mostly in my younger years... when you come to that proverbial fork in the road and have to make a choice... a friend? or my life as I need it to be? Maybe she was moving in the wrong direction and I didn't want to follow... maybe I just couldn't live the with choices. Perhaps I judged... but I knew what I believed and needed for my life... what choice I had to make for my life to be what I dreamed it to be. And there have been frienships that have suffocated me... and have left me more insecure that I was on my own. Choices.
Though I have also lost a friend to Heaven, probably the most painful loss is when someone else ends their friendship with you. Had there been a fight, or an obvious disagreement, I might have understood. But sometimes we just don't... and it leaves us wondering. Did I suffocate you with my friendship? Was my caring too intense? Did I say or do something that just got under your skin? And my choices... did you think I was that wrong or out of line? Did you possibly know that I made that choice because it was far too painful to sit in that pew and feel lonlier than I ever had before? Didn't you know that when I said that, it was me... being sarcastic? I am not one to let go and walk away easily, but that being said, I am not one for confrontation either. And so I wrote... and after two notes left unanswered, I figured I had my answer... and that friendship was over. Occasionally I see her around town... and it is as polite as can be... no more, no less. And still I wonder. And yes, I'm still sad.
As for the drifters... they give me hope. They are the friends that, though I may not be in contact with at the moment, once I run into them in Publix, it will be like old times. They are the ones that I know are just busy, like me... and still call me friend.
Friendships are such a huge part of a woman's life... they mold us... inspire us... and refresh us for our families. Friendships keep us laughing... and living. There are those people who are no longer a part of my life... but that doesn't mean that they didn't have an impact on it... even a good one. Whether it ended because of me... or you... the friendship was real... for a time... a season.

for me?

Thank you, Suzanne! How very fun it was to buzz on over to Day by Day and see that my funniest friend had awarded me this very sweet award! Ahhh... my very first. Where should I put it? For today, I suppose it will hang out here... and I can think about it some more!
So... I suppose I am to pass this award on...

Wendi... You make me laugh, laugh, laugh with every story about that darling daughter of yours. What an imagination she has- I loved that she played in the "snow" inside. She is quite a "Sweetie" even if she is just a tiny bit mischievous!!
Rosemarie... I have enjoyed discovering your little world of twins! How I love those two smiling snowmen you posted! And today is your birthday? Sweet!
MaryLou... You really made my day when I saw that I had a second "follower!" I have enjoyed popping over to find out more about those Smiling Eyes!! And I wore my Red Keds yesterday in honor of your post (and because my feet were cold!)

Have fun sharing!