Until I received a Happy Birthday e-mail, I had forgotten... in the weeks (months?) between my birthday and the note, I had thought of it just a few times.... and then it completely left my mind. Until my Mom said Let's go for that birthday walk. Sickness had postponed our celebration, but so often, you find that things happen for a bigger reason.
We met at the beach... just as the sun was beginning its ascent into the day... and the world was starting to come alive. Coming together for our hug, I saw a gift in her hands... and it surprised me. It wasn't as if my birthday didn't happen way back in December... we just didn't get that walk in. I thought maybe she just wanted to be silly and give me a little gift... to make our walk more birthday-ish.
As I untied the ribbon... and began to tear off the brightly colored paper, I could tell it was a book... and I kept tearing. And then I was caught totally by surprise. I could see the look of anticipation waiting in her eyes... yes... she had done her job... she had given a gift that touched my heart and sent tears streaming down my face.
It was no ordinary book... not one that could be purchased at any store... not written by a famous author. It was just me... my heart... tied up in a ribbon.
My Mom has been saving my blog posts to her computer, just in case, I suppose. Just in case the internet disappeared... just in case I decided I was done writing... just in case she wanted me to write a book. I can see her, painstakingly printing out page after page... and creating a binding she knew would hold... just for me. She took my heart and my words and created a beautiful book... just for me.
As I looked at my book, I wondered Did I really write all of that? I must have spoken out loud... because Mom answered with a yes. There were certainly days I thought I might be done... that there was nothing driving me to write... or to feel inspired by. But I was wrong. Ask and you will receive... seek and you shall find. Even in this silly hobby, God continues to give me a gift of words. He provides a window to my soul... so that I might grow... just a little more. And I am so thankful... because I know there is so much more to learn... about myself... and about Him.
I have enjoyed poking through my book... reliving moments from the past year. Remembering the tough days, and realizing how far I have come. Celebrating the days that were full of heartfelt joy... and recalling lessons I learned along the way. And as I wander through... I can still feel the process of my heart... the heart that seeks... the heart that is so thankful for all of these moments that are... beyond grace.