June 12, 2010
Three weeks ago, I allowed a glimpse of fear to seep into my workout. Week three was tough. Not so tough that I couldn't endure it, but hard enough to make me doubt. Running three minutes took so much breath... how would I ever be able to run a 5K? And through the doubt, above the music raging in my ears, there was a voice.
You are on week three?
Yes. As if You don't know...
How many weeks between now and a 5K?
And He makes me realize this is a process, a journey. No, I wasn't ready for that 5K on week three... but I needed to trust that He would carry me through the journey. And knowing that, keeping it close to my heart, I began to love week three.
A week or so ago... I began Week Four. It took all I had to complete the first day. All I had. But finish, I did. And now...it has taken me a full week, maybe more, to dig out those shoes again. Fear. Not only did I allow it to show its face again, I allowed it to cover my heart. Even knowing that God would meet me on the journey, was waiting for me... I allowed the excuses and the busyness. I allowed the hiding. And in the allowance, I deprived myself of any feeling of success and goodness. I deprived myself of His voice. His goodness.