September 14, 2011

the path to whole

The dappling of sunlight across the walls led me out into the air, and although fall is weeks and perhaps months away, that air was still and comfortable. The summer has been long... long enough for me to almost forget the bright turquoise chair he draped under a blanket for Mother's Day. But there she stood, waiting for me. Looking out across the freshly cut green (cut by the sweetest boy/man I know) I saw the swash of sunshine... and couldn't help but follow its path...
Saturday was glorious, but somehow Sunday crashed down upon it in ways I never expected... and left me scared and unsure of myself.  Unanswered questions and a jittering of fear that skittered under my skin... tears that hovered on the very edge of me.  With as much control as I could muster... which at times was not very much at all, I continued to breathe in and out.  He held me and listened, even when I didn't know what to say... and his quiet was a gift.  I could not reach prayer, but it reached me.  In hearts and words and steamy chicken noodles.  All reminders of grace... all reminders that it is not what I do, but what He does.

Turquoise relaxation.  Pink yarn and busy hands. 
Air that pulls the breath of me out and somehow exchanges it for Jesus. 
The path of sunlight... the path to whole.
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.-Psalm 109:115

6 comments:

Richella said...

A beautiful post, as usual. . . but reading it REALLY has me wondering what's going on with you. I know you've been busy with two kids in high school, and big-time band season, and everything else--but I've missed you! I pray that you are well. I love you!

togetherforgood said...

All love, dear friend.

Southern Gal said...

In your sharing, you've written what I need to hear today, a difficult day in the making. Heart hurt, brain mush, and nothing I can do to help it. Only Him. Thank you.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I have no idea what is going on now....I am afraid to ask.
Your photos are gorgeous....your words are so meaningful.
xoxo

Kat said...

"...it is not what I do, but what He does..." <3
Your photos ARE gorgeous.

K said...

Hope all is well.