August 29, 2013

she lives in my everyday...

Last night she was in my dream. I think she was dancing.  I just remember seeing her, and turning and telling Christine I see her!  There's Ann!  It was a gift. 

At home I expect to see her... I have notes from her tucked on my desk, in my bookshelf.  When I see her beautiful handwriting or my eyes pass over our photo perched on the piano, I smile, and thank God for our friendship, her love.  It has been a year since her words popped up in a text message, since I saw her face smiling or felt her arms around me.  But these pieces keep her close... and they remind me of how much she taught me along her path Home. 


While we were away this summer, at the youth gathering, God caught me off-guard.  Twice.  He showed me a glimpse of her face, of her heart.  Both times my eyes flooded with tears that shook my soul... thankful and sad and filled with joy.  {I think only God can mix this recipe!}  The first came with laughter... smack dab in the middle of the Skit Guys performance.  Eddie was portraying a high school student, and Tommy, his mother.  He started in finger wagging and say Now Skippy, Oh Skippy, you listen to me Skippy...  Oh he sounded just like Ann!  She was always, always gracious and kind, but everyone has their someone who gets under their skin!   The second time God showed Ann to me, Bob Lenz was talking about his Mom and her battle with cancer.  I was already thinking about my sweet friend, when he got to part of the story just after his Mom passed.  After she took her last breath, Bob's father raised his arms over his head and cheered... because cancer didn't win.  And oh I have to believe that with my whole heart... that God beats cancer every time He scoops our loved ones into heaven and heals them in His arms

But it broke me.  There I sat, my youth in front of me, my husband to my right... and my heart broke open and the tears cried ugly.  My body shook, and all I could do was cover my face and let it happen.  And still, I praise His name, and thank Him for breaking open heaven and letting me see the face and heart of my sweet Ann...

and I think to myself, it's a wonderful world...
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6 comments:

Gabe said...

I love that he cheered because cancer hadn't won...just heard today that our associate pastor has lymphoma. So glad we know the end of the story!

Southern Gal said...

I can think of no words that would help or bring anything to this. I only wish I could hug you.

Kay said...

I am in a puddle of the ugly cry. This is beautiful. I try to remember each time He brings His own to heaven that it is precious to Him. Thankful there is something beyond the now and all the hurts and trials that make up life here on earth. And also, I think it's ok for our kids to see us broken. Shows them that they can be broken before God and it's good.

On a lighthearted note, we LOVE LOVE LOVE The Skit Guys. My girl saw them at Planet Wisdom and we often quote lines from skits to each other...like "do it!" (Adam and Eve). lol

Mindy Whipple said...

I am so sorry for this loss Dawn. Thankful that God brings memories and healing to our hearts. "God beats cancer every time He scoops our loved ones into heaven and heals them in His arms." Such a beautiful and touching picture and SO full of truth.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I love that Ann comes to you in your dreams. {I bet she is always healthy AND happy too while visiting you}
This whole post touched my heart....and just so you can get a 100%, yes I cried too. Those glimpses and moments with people we love are a gift; in the here and now or in our heart.
XO

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