a beautiful start...

The morning had me procrastinating, but an announcement of the chilly air was all I needed to be motivated. I have enjoyed the cooler mornings, and was thrilled to hear they had returned. I kissed him goodbye and off I went, knowing I only had about a miles worth of time before I needed to be at my dining room desk for work. 

Stepping out, it wasn't only the air that made me catch my breath - the sky was starting to warm pink. My footsteps lead me right, and I picked up the pace. Destination? Sunrise on the lake. My shadow in the streetlights made me smile as we raced down the sidewalk. 

Making my way briskly, I decided that forty-eight degrees is my perfect walking weather. The thought made me grin, as I am embracing the last couple of days of forty-eight years. And sunrise? Certainly another favorite. I love to watch the sky make its way from night to light, and the way the sun and clouds play together, making art in the sky. Cotton candy wisps, gradient pink, sky blue. 

Twenty minutes well spent, and a beautiful start to the day. 

life lately... {the april 2020 edition}

 I wasn't going to go back, but then I thought it might be a good challenge... to see if I could actually find nine pictures from April. So here is April... not necessarily in order. 

1. homemade margaritas... because we're home. and we have time.

2. this pretty weed was enjoying a little sun flare 

on our safari road walk...seek the beauty!

3. i painted the livingroom |
(and then the piano room, and the bathroom, and the front door...)
and put up some photos of place we love.
the qualifier? had to have a brilliant blue sky. 

4. when your quarantine friends set up a beautiful dining area by the pool, under the lights...
for your monthly Cooper's Hawk wine dinner.

5. palm sunday... i wanted to be festive and cut a few palms
for the online service. and... scout ate them.

6. how did i never notice the heart shaped marking on this neighborhood tree?

7. easter... we tried to zoom our favorite game with my parents...
it was a good for a laugh, at least!

8. my massachusetts kim was moved from her comfy OR to ICU...
the work was difficult, and heart heavy. super hero?
she says no... but i think she made some heroic choices, with love. 

9. it hit me hard when the hand-drawn copy paper arrows
were all of a sudden more permanent. 

Oh April... we made it through, day by day. 

pay attention...

I wonder if the people who live in Colorado see the mountains every day... or if, after living there a while, the astonishment fades. I was fascinated by them at every turn... and my camera is full of not-so-great shots that I tried to take from the car as we wove our way mountainside.

In this go-go-go society, are we rushing through daily life stomping the roses because they are blocking access to the next event? or buried so deep in our phones, head down, that we are blinded by the blue light, letting life pass unnoticed?

I think these past months have taught us... that rushing is unnecessary, because there is no place to go. That the only real place to be is the here, and the now. And really? It's quite beautiful. We walk and the breeze whips around, directing our eyes to a ripple across the water, or the way the leaves shimmy and dance in the light. We sit and we rest, and in the quiet of nothing, I see how the sun shines through the sea grape leaves. And it brings me joy. 

From home, we may long for the flashy places, and the excitement they might hold. There is a time for that, and I hope we'll get there again. But these small moments, that are all around us, in the rush and the still, they are valuable. I pray that I will not let them go by the wayside. I hope, that on the other side of this mess, I remember to leave space to breathe, and don't have to remind myself to seek the beauty. 

I asked Laura... do you still notice the mountains?
Yes, everyday as I walk to school I look up at them in awe. 

pay attention, be astonished, tell about it...
-Mary Oliver

hello again...

I feel like I've been holding my breath for months now, how about you? 

One and two felt endless.
Three through seven have flown by, and now...
I wonder if, or how, I can even find the normal that was. 

My county has renewed the mask mandate until April 2021. I'm not against the masks, in fact, we're trying to have as much fun with them as possible. But as long as I was living month to month, I felt ok {although is that really living?} and now, with a six month outlook, what are we to do? I can feel the anxiety slipping back in, grasping hold of my heart. Six months...  how do I not plan for six months? Or do I just make the plans anyway, and move on... masked? 

We have been as careful as we can be, all out in the workforce, making the best of every day. Sometimes that means take-out curled up on the couch, just us, and other times we venture out to our favorite winery, where we know they are taking precautions seriously, and have a double date night. And sometimes... it is all too much, and all too little, and more than I can really fathom. 

So that normal... the one that was? It had its good and bad. The good? Fun, friends, adventure. The bad? Busy, hurried... and just because. What I'd really like to do is find a happy medium. Because the good of right now has a lot going for it {besides all of the house projects we've ticked off the list!} Time, quiet, purpose, rest, and yes... joy.

Today I'm taking the day to wrestle with this unrest... and tomorrow, maybe I'll find a new way to breathe.