September 08, 2010

taking the first step, again

When I am trying to get motivated to move in the morning, I take care to lay out my shoes and socks, so I won't be fumbling in the dark when the clock glares 5am. Last night, I laid out my bible. And Jesus Calling... because truthfully, He has been, and I haven't been answering. And this morning, I wanted to be able to find my way to the quiet, without fumbling in my own darkness.
As I was catching up on blog reading yesterday, my Goodlife friend Dawn set a challenge before me. Spend 24 hours with God in 24 days. Of course He is worthy of at least that... but the thought of taking on this challenge took the breath from me. I sat and re-read her words... and still, I felt the fear. I asked myself what I was afraid of, because surely nothing bad could come from spending time together with God... except the bad in me. Failure, transparency... guilt. But God already knows all those things that are in me... and still, His love and grace are lavished over me in ways I cannot comprehend.   And so I prayed that He would get me where I needed to be. 
Today I begin my journey anew. This quiet time that I never take, choosing instead to ramble on all day with my Savior. And He speaks right to me.  Days... present a choice between two alternatives- giving up or relying on Me. Even if you wrongly choose the first alternative, I will not reject you. You can turn to Me at any point, and I will help you crawl out of the mire of discouragement. (Jesus Calling, Sarah Young)
And you know what? I already knew that, here in my heart where it counts. I just chose not to live it, not to choose it.  I may not make 24/24... but to choose to close my heart to the idea means choosing not to accept the gift He gives through His word. What if I only accomplish 22/24, or 17/24?  Or even 3/24?  I will still feel His love around me, still know that I have not been rejected... still know that even 3/24 is better than 0/24. 
In the soft glow of the lamp, in the early hours of this morning, in the quiet, here I sat... continuing on with a pile of books that are filled with His words.  Words that are truth and light  ... that are just for me. And just for you. And I pray... give me a fresh hunger to devour the scriptures so that I am not satisfied unless I have been filled with Your truth every day. (Busy Mom's Guide to Prayer, Lisa Whelchel) 
As the sun brings light to the day, I somehow feel it in my soul, too.  No need to wonder how or why God planted these words in these books for today, September 8th... because this girl knows better than to question His knowing... and better than to question His love.
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9 comments:

Dawn said...

I could cry. This is a beautiful post Dawn. So glad you joined in. 1/24 is better than 0/24, but I have a feeling you won't stop here.

and, isn't God so cool??

And guess what? All of a sudden I can't find my copy of Jesus Calling!! Praying it turns up in this mess soon. Hugs.

Busy Bee Suz said...

This is a challenge that you will enjoy!
xoxo
Suz

Life with Kaishon said...

I really loved reading this. And thinking about it. And letting the profoundness hit me. I need this challenge as well. He gives me 24 hours a day. What do I give Him?

Kathleen@so much to say, so little time said...

This is me, too. Oh, I hear it pulling on me. Time to respond.

Kay said...

No doubt this 24 hour journey will be an amazing one with your wonderful Father. Such beautiful and convicting words today.

Cassie said...

When will I do this too? I guess when the Spirit moves me to make a genuine commitment. Sounds like a good idea. I normally have so much alone time that I have no excuse not to.

Kat said...

Convicted...that I, too, need to take on a challenge that I know I'd probably, dare I say, fail. Thankful...that 1/24 is better than 0/24. Convicted...that I don't need to use excuses as a reason to set my self up to fail. Thankful...He's there no matter.

tracie @ {tsj} photography said...

i so needed this dawn ... so needed it ... tomorrow i start fresh with my new bible in hand!

GODHLDME said...

I love how God speaks through his children.. Thanks Dawn.. I so needed that... Nancy S