November 20, 2012

red light grace

I have spotted her yellow car zipping around town more in the past few weeks than I have in years. As soon as I see it, I make a mental note to send her a card... just to let her know that I know... I know how hard it is to lose a friend... and that I have been praying for her.  But life moves fast, and before I take the time to put pen to paper, I find myself reminded, again, that I haven't.

I noticed her car up ahead of me today... and I thought that if we ended up stopped at a light, and it was possible, I'd roll down my window and say hi. Maybe let her know that she has been on my heart and that I am praying for her.  As the light turned red, I noticed that our cars wouldn't line up, and a ripple of relief flooded me. It was a nice plan in theory, but what if today is the first day she hasn't cried? Or what if she is having an especially hard morning and I only make it worse?  It is the thought that counts...

And then God stepped in, the way He does when I can't get out of my own way.

The car in front of me swooped over in front of her and there we were, window to window. I waved, she waved. I rolled down my window... and as it became apparent that she was doing the same, I took a gulp of air, breathing Jesus in, and said it. You've been on my heart. I've been praying for you. She smiled and said don't make me cry!   We had a few more moments before green moved us on... and I think we were both touched by what He had in store for us this day.

I am a justifier. I can think of a thousand reasons not to do something... and fear usually hovers at the top of that list. But what can you do, when God wraps a moment of time in His love, but scoop into His grace and heap it on another?



Anonymous said...

You know, I think most of us want to talk about it-- or at least to know others haven't forgotten-- at least that has been my experience in loss. I'd rather be tearing up at a red light than feeling others have forgotten my sorrow.

I know you are still grieving too, sweet friend. You are in my heart!

Southern Gal said...

A justifier. I do the same for the same reasons. Friend, I am so glad God provided that opportunity and you obeyed. Hugs to you today.

Busy Bee Suz said...

You are so so many ways!

Pam said...

I know it's hard. And it's easy to worry about how your words or actions will be received. But I'm thankful that God made a way so you both could lean into each other a little bit as you both grieve. Hugs and love! : )

PS...yes it's better to be teary than forgotten, IMO.

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