February 12, 2013

care for every need...

My follow-up doctor's appointment was Friday.
On the way there, we dropped off one car at the mechanic. Air conditioning trouble, and all I could see was the dollar signs. Not what you want when you have paid your whole insurance deductible in January, and are well on your way to meeting the out-of-pocket amount by the end of February. But... in Florida, A/C is not a luxury.

The appointment was almost uneventful.
Questions answered. Antibiotics re-prescribed. Next surgery scheduled. I left deflated, just as I expected. This... situation... is unsolvable, and I knew it going in. A small sick feeling settled in my stomach, but even that was not unexpeced.

When Eric offered lunch, I nodded through stray tears... as I texted everyone I had promised.  It was easier not to talk... just to type it away, not quite ready to let go of those pity-party balloons. I refused God's pleading with my heart, knowing that when I was good and ready I would pass my burdens to Him. I don't know why I wanted to hold the ugliness at all... but in those moments, it was all mine.

Over a cup of soup and crusty bread, Eric spoke with the mechanic.
Uh huh. Uh huh. Ok. Yep. Ahhhh.  Hmmm.... and so on. All I heard was cha-ching, cha-ching.
Until he hung up and translated his mumblings.
Loose hose. Tightened right up. No trouble with the air.  30 minutes. Free
And all of a sudden, He got through to me. Do I not take care of your every need? 
And the tears fell again.
Grace... like rain.

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4 comments:

Richella Parham said...

Hey sweet friend--

I've been out of pocket a lot lately and today spent quite a bit of time catching up on some posts. Urology problems, huh? I'm so sorry! I'm wondering about that phrase "Next surgery scheduled." I know those words too well! And "not quite ready to let go of those pity party balloons"? Brilliantly stated, I must say--but my heart breaks to see that they came from your pen. I wish you never had reasons for a pity party!

God is happy to take our burdens when we'll give them to Him, isn't He? Bless you as you do that, sweet Dawn. Your story about the car is such a good illustration.

Love you!

Southern Gal said...

You're sharing from the heart as always. God is going to bless you through all of this.

Kay said...

So sorry for the problems you're facing. But thankful that you are seeing His Grace in the midst of it. Wish I could hug you 'for reals', sweet friend. : )

Busy Bee Suz said...

Love the little gifts when they are given....and just at the right moment.
Thinking of YOU.
XOXO