My follow-up doctor's appointment was Friday.
On the way there, we dropped off one car at the mechanic. Air conditioning trouble, and all I could see was the dollar signs. Not what you want when you have paid your whole insurance deductible in January, and are well on your way to meeting the out-of-pocket amount by the end of February. But... in Florida, A/C is not a luxury.
The appointment was almost uneventful.
Questions answered. Antibiotics re-prescribed. Next surgery scheduled. I left deflated, just as I expected. This... situation... is unsolvable, and I knew it going in. A small sick feeling settled in my stomach, but even that was not unexpeced.
When Eric offered lunch, I nodded through stray tears... as I texted everyone I had promised. It was easier not to talk... just to type it away, not quite ready to let go of those pity-party balloons. I refused God's pleading with my heart, knowing that when I was good and ready I would pass my burdens to Him. I don't know why I wanted to hold the ugliness at all... but in those moments, it was all mine.
Over a cup of soup and crusty bread, Eric spoke with the mechanic.
Uh huh. Uh huh. Ok. Yep. Ahhhh. Hmmm.... and so on. All I heard was cha-ching, cha-ching.
Until he hung up and translated his mumblings.
Loose hose. Tightened right up. No trouble with the air. 30 minutes. Free.
And all of a sudden, He got through to me. Do I not take care of your every need?
And the tears fell again.
Grace... like rain.