I said it outloud for the first time yesterday. My kids are fourteen and seventeen. All of the preparation, all of the "they are going to be..." did not prepare me for the real thing, did not prepare my heart for the mix of loss and joy. I'm not quite sure where the time has gone, I only know that I cannot get it back, except in the memories. It might go without saying that the tears are rolling, even as I think about it again.
It happens in a blink, it happens in a flash
It happens in the time it took to look back
I try to hold on tight, but there's no stopping time
What is it I've done with my life?
No one remembers how far we have run.
The only thing that matters is how we have loved.
I don't want to miss even just a second more of this.
-lyrics from Blink by Revive.
Oh, I have loved.
I have loved with the most gentle whispers of butterfly kisses, and the fierceness only a mama knows.
I have loved... and love still... forever and ever.