May 09, 2010

mother's day 2010



Children are the anchors that hold a mother to life. -Sophocles

The other day Elizabeth asked:
What do you wish someone had told you about being a mother?
I answered...
i wish i had known... that no one expects me to be super-mom, except for me. and i wish i had listened and heard that lady in the supermarket... it goes by too fast, cherish it right now. i wish... someone had prepared me for how much i would hurt when my kids hurt. and that it is a wonderful journey if you relax and are not afraid to laugh, most times at yourself.

I wasn't practically prepared for being a mother. In fact, I never even packed that suitcase for the hospital. Both times it was a frenzy of shoving some stuff into a bag moments after my water broke. I had never changed a diaper... and I couldn't really remember holding many babies. Maybe just my sister. All I had was love and wonder in my heart... and it turns out, that was enough. Yes. There were things I wish I had known... but learning in the moment- out of necessity- has been quite a journey. Sometimes pretty... and sometimes not. I have yelled and wished I hadn't. I have cried for good reason, and for no reason at all. I have messed up... and apologized. And apologized some more. But in the mix of everyday life, between the downs, there have been so many moments of joy and beauty and down-right silliness. My own Mom scoffs at my memories of a beautiful childhood and doesn't feel like she deserves the pedestal I have placed her on... but in my heart, there she sits... and will always sit. Because there was never a shortage of love. I think she is the best Mom a girl could have... and I feel confident that my own kids will look back and feel the same way. Because like childbirth... the pain eventually fades. The memory of it lingers in a hazy fog, but what shines through is the beauty of holding that sweet tiny life in your arms for the very first time.

I have made mistakes... and I'm certain that there are more to come. But I will continue to stir in love and adventure and laughter, with a good measure of hope and faith. Not to cover up my errors... but because it is the only recipe I know. And it works for us. I look at these two kids and I see God's grace. Blending the parts of me with the beauty of Him. And they fill my heart in a way I never could imagine. They are... my something beautiful.

Wishing you a Happy Mother's Day... with lots of love,
Photobucket

6 comments:

togetherforgood said...

Oh Dawn, you make me cry. :) I love the grace that you view yourself with. I am learning to view myself the same way.

Richella said...

Ummm. A post to sit and simmer in for awhile. I want to marinate myself in your words. A good recipe, indeed.

Happy Mother's Day, beautiful friend.

Busy Bee Suz said...

So sweet and perfect. Like you.

I can't believe you did not have your suitcase packed both times?!?

(you know that was dripping with sarcasm, right?)
Love you...love your Mothering!

jenn said...

there you go again! perfect words that mix and swirl in my heart and in my mind--thank you!

Rosemarie said...

Hi Dawn - I was so happy to see your comment! I was afraid everyone would have forgotten about me - hehe!

Believe it or not I have been reading your blog all along - along with my other favorites - I'm sorry I haven't been commenting, though. I have just enjoyed all the reading.

Everything is going well with the baby and we can't wait to meet him or her! And yes, those are the girls' Easter dresses!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

What a GREAT post!!!! Thank you thank you thank you. :)