May 20, 2010

seeking beauty

I seek it at every turn.
I surround myself with it when I find it.
Most of all, I long to feel it... inside and out.
Sometimes... the weight I carry blots out every bit of beauty I know... it tempts me to hide.
To hide my heart, and my smiling eyes.
Believing I'm beautiful?
When my Mom would tell me, I would dismiss her words.
When my best friend said it, I dared to hope.
And when my husband whispers it... I truly want to believe it.
He makes all things glorious, and I am Yours... what does that make me?*
I've been digging... to find that beauty in me.
Beyond my heart, and beyond those eyes.
Beyond what others see.
Sometimes the only opinion I hear is my own.
Lately, I feel most beautiful when I am in motion...
on the treadmill, with the music playing way too loud.
The beat of the music and the declarations of the lyrics propel my feet forward... towards beauty.
Towards life.
* lyrics, Everything Glorious, David Crowder Band


Tricia said...

You quoted one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite songs. I understand all too well what you are describing. Praying that you will hear the whispers of God today telling you of your beauty and your worth. Blessings.

Busy Bee Suz said...

We are one in the same my friend. Always doubting what WE see on the outside, not believing what others see. I think you are beautiful, but I know that does not really have to see it; feel it.
How old do you think we will be when we finally feel it ourselves? 100?
It is nice to escape in our music, moving our feet and our heart.
It is even good that you play the music so loud that you can't hear the phone ringing...I would have only interupted your time!!!

imoomie said...

It is so true, something is so right when I am moving, maybe it shuts out my own voice in my head long enough to celebrate what I can do.

Corinne Cunningham said...

You are beautiful. Inside and out.
Such raw lovely words.

Anonymous said...

You may have to dig to see the beauty, but the rest of us see it shining right out from your words. I am so blessed to know you, my lovely friend.

Richella Parham said...

You go, girl.

You know that I struggle with this, too. Mostly because of my birthmark. . . but not just because of my birthmark. I'm 46 years old, for crying out loud, and I'm STILL struggling. But it's getting better, and I'm grateful.

I tell you, though, whenever you talk about the way you see Laura. . . about how beautiful she is. . . I am SO GLAD that she has parents who are teaching her that she is beautiful. That is a gift to a daughter (one I didn't receive). You are teaching her the TRUTH about herself.

It's the truth about you, too. I want to say, "Look in the mirror! Believe!" but I know it's not that easy. So I'll just add my voice to all the voices who say WE see your beauty. And we can't all be wrong. :)

Back to Top