January 04, 2012

conversation hearts

Our mother-hearts conversed... her side spoke of a first Christmas, first steps and a birthday around the bend, while mine shared a college letter and a learner's permit.  Our voices were full of love and amazement, of our children and this time in our lives... but I could see, in her eyes, the weariness.  The harried heart of sitter-seeking and the exhausted wish that running in to grab a gallon of milk wasn't such a production.  Was she counting the years towards my independence?  I wonder if she could see, in my eyes, the grasping of moments.  That I might give up the ease of a sprint through the grocery store for a single last breath of their sweet baby scent?  The regret that I did not just hold them in my arms for all the hours of the day... because there simply wasn't one thing more important than our hearts beating in such close proximity? 

I am still learning that mother-hearts are never without ache.  And that even though we might be years apart in motherhood, the miles between our hearts are short.  And the distance between one and eighteen?  Try not to blink.   

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5 comments:

Gabe said...

Beautiful, dear friend.

As I held my little niece this weekend, it felt shorter than a blink. a nanosecond?

Oh, I love that line. . .our hearts beating in close proximity. . .

thank you.

togetherforgood said...

never without ache-- do you think it's from the fall? The pangs of childbirth continuing all through our lives?

Southern Gal said...

Truth spoken here. Now I hold my granddaughter close every chance I get (and a big boy who is starting to think it's not quite so cool). Don't blink is right.

Busy Bee Suz said...

There is always an ache...one way or another, thats just how it is.
Love this. Thanks for the tears...I thought I might get through ONE day without crying, but NO. :)
xoxo

jenn said...

It has taken me quite a few years to figure this out...it became more clear after Andrew was born. What I thought was hard a two is nothing compared to when they are older. I blinked too many times!!

Your words are so true, so soothing, so real!