May 15, 2008

better hands

It's hard to stand on shifting sand
It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night
There is hope when my faith runs out
Cause I'm in better hands now

It's been quite a tough few days for me...yesterday I had to interview for a job I didn't want...don't want. I made sure they knew, too, in the nicest way possible. The job is a good opportunity... for someone else. Not me. It's not the right fit... I have been very upbeat about the prospect of losing my job at my elementary school. I have put it in God's hand, for that is what I do. I am not a worrier. Why waste time worrying about something that it out of my control? I was so thrilled when someone volunteered to go to this high school job. It saved my spot. And then I had to interview anyway. Why, oh why? Even as I was on my way, I saw a bumper sticker that reminded me "God is in charge." I reminded Him that I did not want to go to high school, in case He forgot. Then I let it go. Maybe I should've worried a little more. They want me to come and work there... at the high school. I don't think so. It's not the right fit. God, did I mention that I do not want to work with those big, scary kids? I am trying to find out if I am allowed to refuse this job... and still have a job... my job. Is that having your cake and eating it, too? I don't know. I am trying to leave it there, in God's hands where it belongs... but it's hard. It's really hard. I want to cry and kick and scream and whine... okay, I've actually done a lot of those things... and guess what? Nothing has changed. But I'm still waiting. I know that He can do great things... and I know He can choose to leave things as they are. So, I'm waiting...

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now

lyrics from In Better Hands...Natalie Grant

1 comment :

Suzanne said...

If you do leave it in his hands and he chooses what you DON'T think you want, then what?
Will you try it? Maybe the big scary kids need you????
Perhaps not though.....
Just wait and see. Go ahead, whine a little. IT will make you feel better.

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