When all around me starts to fall,
and when my faith it seems so small
Even in my darkest hour, I will believe
Even if the sun begins to fall,
even when I feel nothing at all
Even if I'm all alone, I will believe
So it seems that I must take this high school job. It's very sad that I have to, when don't want it... and the girl who really did want it, can't have it. I know... it's not fair. But as my friend Susan used to say... Life's not fair... a Fair is where they have that big ferris wheel. I'm going to hang on and hope that the summer will bring change. We never know what is around the corner. It's part of life's mystery. Maybe things will shift and there will all of a sudden be a spot at my school. Maybe I just need to get away from a school job and head out into the real world. It's going to be okay. It has to be. I have spoken those words plenty of times... but what pops into my head instantly is speaking those words to my Mom... Eric & I had just packed all of our possessions into the moving van. Laura was prepared for the long trip... we were Florida bound! And I had just found out I was pregnant. No jobs... no health insurance. Just a place to live, and family. Not the best situation... and when I told my Mom she was excited... and then scared for us. And I told her it's going to be okay. It has to be. She asked how? and I reiterated my statement. Guess what? It worked out just fine. Maybe not smoothly, but just fine. Cam was simply the sweetest baby ever.. and we just worked out the rest. So this job thing? It'll be okay. Whatever happens, I'll be okay.
lyrics from Believe...Mainstay